Runner. Grounded.

back-pain

6am Thursday:
12” snowfall overnight. DK working from home.

SK: Are you going to shovel the driveway?
DK: No.
SK: No?
DK: No.
SK: (Eye roll) You’re going to let me do it? Again?
DK: I’ll do it this afternoon after I finish my calls.
SK: No you won’t.
DK: Are you going to keep riding me on this all day?

6am Friday.
3” of additional snowfall overnight.

SK: Are you going to shovel the driveway?
DK: No.
SK: No?
DK: No. Not before work. I’m not showering again.
DK: Just leave it until I return tonight. It will warm up and melt.
SK: Really? You’re kidding right? (She heads outside to shovel.)
DK: I told you to leave it. (She has this Thing about a clean driveway)
SK: How do you plan to get out?
DK: Get out of the way. I’m going to ram through the piles with the car.

2pm Sunday.
DK ventures outside to clear the back steps. SK opens the door.

SK: Why don’t you use the steel edger/chopper to break the ice?
DK: Oh come on. Really? I’ve shoveled show before. Get inside.
SK: OK have it your way.

(Mumbling. Girl telling Canadian how to shovel snow. What’s next?)
I get after it.
I bend the show shovel trying to break the ice.
I lean on it to try bend it back.
I look through the back door to see if she’s watching.
Coast is clear.
I stomp through the snow to get to the garage to get the steel chopper.
I start slamming the ice.
On the third swing, I hit concrete.
Cold, vibrating steel.
Shooting, stabbing pain in my lower back.
Air whooshes out of my lungs.
I fall to my knees. (Dear God help me.)

SK: What’s wrong?
DK: My back.
SK: You’re joking, right?
DK: Does it look like a joke? (I crawl upstairs to bed.)
SK: (Laughing) Do you see any irony here?
DK: No. I don’t actually. None.
DK: I do see you getting enormous pleasure seeing me keeled over in pain.
SK: Oh, come on. Big Man clears 2-steps. I shovel massive piles of snow. (Still laughing)
DK: Stay away from me. Way back.

Snow forecast 3″-5” tonight.


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Comments

  1. Oh no…that’s horrible, so sorry David. And, I really tried not to laugh, but it was kind of difficult starting at the line “I look through the back door to see if she’s watching.” I’m not laughing, really. How long have you two been married? A hundred years or something like that??? You’re both so funny, really…but it’s horrible, not funny, not laughing, trying not to laugh. I hope you’re okay.

  2. I hate when that happens…good luck and get better soon.

  3. awww, well, sometimes it’s best just to say nothing and keep your distance. hope you feel better soon, but not well enough to shovel. )

  4. ohhhh no ….

    That’s gonna take some time to heal, you know. Hope someone is able to help clear the snow in the meantime!! :(

    5″ snow today & still coming down….. people are getting really snarky about it, too

    take care!
    MJ

  5. Peggy Farrell Schroeder says:

    I hope you feel better, soon! This was a very funny dialogue, though.

  6. Robaxet time.

  7. I’m sorry but I can’t stop laughing!

  8. Oh no..sorry but this did bring a chuckle! Hope you feel better!

  9. OK … Enough is enough! I am seriously feeling terribly sorry for you guys out east. Time to conjure up a sun dance ceremony or something, anything to help! Take care of your back, David, and hope the snow melts before you have to get out and clear it or before SK can do it … :) … It sounds like she would never let you hear the end of it!

  10. Driveway fights back :-)

  11. “San Francisco open your Golden Gate …” Dude, from the west coast you are talking a foreign language. As long as your fingers work we are good – need you to keep blogging.
    Seriously, get well and take care of your back.
    – Michael

  12. OUCH! I hope your back pain heals real soon, David. Hopefully soon followed by some warm(er) weather.

    I don’t know whether the weather will soon change
    But hope your back gets back to being without pain!

    Russ

  13. Oh no! This means that you are now likely to contract “I told you so” syndrome. Not nice.

  14. Hope you’re feeling better (heeheehee).

  15. i’m sorry you hurt your back…hard not to smile a bit though at Susan’s reaction (which I must admit is the same as mine would be)

  16. I, too, am sorry to hear that you’re on the D.L., pal, but Susan DID try to get you out there earlier (can you see how the ‘x’ chromosomes begin to cluster?… ) we’re looking down the barrel of another 6-8″ ourselves today. That groundhog, he’s dead to me….

  17. Isn’t marriage grand? I love this dialogue; if it weren’t for the fact snow is involved, I’d say my husband and I were the players. (Yes, I’d be the one shoveling the soft snow). Feel better soon, David!

  18. HA! Oh how I love Susan & miss you guys!! She ALWAYS knows best :)

  19. HA! Oh how I love Susan & miss you guys! She ALWAYS knows best!

  20. My friend, there are SO many responses to this that, well, I’m tongue tied! Thus, I shall say nothing more and leave it up to your imagination (pure torture I’m sure). Not so much “piling on” as “jumping up and down” … No? By the way, aren’t Canadians supposed to be good in the snow?

  21. Happening in numerous driveways across the country! Sorry about your back.

  22. Oh dear!
    Pardon my chuckle.
    I really do hope your back is feeling better by now.

  23. Everyone has already said it (chuckle) and I really do hope you are on the mend soon. Honest. :)

  24. Aargh!! Sorry, David. Not funny.

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