Poet Andrea Gibson died on July 14, 2025 at the age of 49 from Ovarian cancer. Here’s some excerpts from an essay written by her friend and fellow poet Amber Tamblyn from a NY Times article titled: “A Poet Who Advocated Radical Tenderness“.
“Andrea had a unique ability to offer their readers and listeners a way of living, to show us how much we need tenderness, and how to be tender as a radical act. One of the last poems they wrote, “Love Letter From the Afterlife,” was written…for a fractured world. It asks us to do what might feel impossible right now: Soften toward, not away from, one another, even at such a heightened time of vitriol and hate. It was written by a poet who lived their brief life with a consciousness of something bigger than themselves — a collective belief, whether we are aware of it or not, that all of us long to feel less alone. […]
In a poem titled, “How The Worst Day of My Life Became the Best,” Andrea wrote:
When I realized the storm
was inevitable, I made it
my medicine.Took two snowflakes
on the tongue in the morning,
two snowflakes on the tongue
by noon.There were no side effects.
Only sound effects. Reverb
added to my lifespan,
an echo that asked—What part of your life’s record is skipping?
What wound is on repeat?
Have you done everything you can
to break out of that groove?
[…} In 2023, a video Andrea made on lessons they learned after learning their cancer was now incurable, went viral. On a drive, they said, they had done the bravest thing they had ever done. “I picked my head up and I loved the world that I knew wouldn’t always be mine.” They went on, “I think many of us are doing it almost all the time; we are not allowing ourselves joy or love or peace because we are afraid to lose it. Don’t be so afraid of losing life that you forget to live it.” […]
Photo: AP Photo/Chris Pizzello
Just my opinion, but… I think when people are afraid of death, they are really afraid that haven’t lived out this life to the best of their ability. What is more scary than death? Looking back and wishing you had lived.
Lori posted a quote on Facebook yesterday. “Romanticize your life-Every part of it”.
“This is your life, you don’t need permission to enjoy it, to soften into it, to make it beautiful if your own way.”
Off to “take the picture”…. Even if “no one sees it.” 😉
Thank you (again) DK.
🙂
Great reminder!
This post moved me to tears, pal. Have been thinking so much lately about how to live…how to find peace within myself and how to best show up for those I love. This line in particular really spoke to me: “I think many of us are doing it almost all the time; we are not allowing ourselves joy or love or peace because we are afraid to lose it.” Can’t live in fear…have to savor each minute we’re given…full stop.
Yes, powerful lines Lori. I feel exactly like you do. What also helps me is turning off the TV (news, pundits, noise) and getting outside.
Yes!! Have been largely away from the news these past couple of weeks while dealing with the move AND have been outside a lot and suddenly realized this morning how much more relaxed and calm I feel. Not a coincidence me thinks….😉
Radical tenderness – in this time, somehow they fit together. Dare one’s self to be kind, to delight in being startled by wonderful things that otherwise may go unnoticed. Yes, yes, yes.
Yes!
A poignant reminder. Thank you for sharing David. Today will be a better day.
Thanks Val. Yes it will.
“Soften toward, not away from, one another.” Love this.
Yes, that line held me too Laila.
that last line, so very true. she left an amazing legacy and gone too soon
Yes, and gone way too soon.
“There were no side effects.” as I keep telling myself, I enjoy getting older, it’s the damn side effects always gets me.
Laughing, so me too.
Wonderful poem …
It is Majella!