From the outside, it’s easy to roll our eyes at devotees of everything from Taylor Swift to “Star Trek.” We deem them nerdy or frivolous, judge their costumes, the time they waste on Reddit, the money they spend on concert tickets.
What if they’ve figured out something the rest of us haven’t?
After all, so many of us lack community. Data from Cigna finds 58% of Americans are lonely. Religion is fading. Work doesn’t love us back. Maybe letting ourselves be obsessed with that highly specific and possibly weird thing we love is the answer…
“If it brings you joy, why not do more of it?” the 33-year-old architect asked, clad in an “Aladdin”-print dress. A photo of her and her husband wearing mouse ears hung on the wall behind her on our Zoom call.
More than six in 10 Americans said hobbies or recreational activities were extremely or very important to them, according to a 2023 poll from Gallup. That’s up from 48% in 2001 and 2002. Meanwhile, the share of people who said the same about religion dropped 7 percentage points, to 58%.
Picture a crowd swaying in unison to a beloved song. Everyone assembled feels the same emotion simultaneously, says Paul Booth, a professor of media and pop culture at DePaul University. The euphoria catches and builds. The experience, known as “collective effervescence,” can feel transcendent, he says, almost telepathic. “I think it has to do with wanting something in our lives that we can lose ourselves in,” he says. At a time of increasing polarization and cynicism—not to mention that coming election—it’s an especially wondrous connection, he adds…
“That’s the heart of a fandom,” says Tara Block, who fell in love with the “Harry Potter” books after graduating college. “You care a lot.”
— Rachel Feintzeig, from “What Superfans Know That the Rest of Us Should Learn.” (wsj.com, August 19, 2024)
Photo: Anna-m. w., London, England. People enjoying concert.
Ok, I’m dating myself here, but James Taylor and Carole King at Madison Sq Garden; catching each other’s drool at a Springsteen concert in the movie theater in the town where I went to college (200 seats, no one really knew him yet). The excitement felt charged, the enthusiastic commiseration. I agree that loneliness is a factor that seems to be on the rise (remote learning, remote working, remote feeling, remote conversations), but any opportunity for shared experience is needed desperately. We are a species that needs affiliation and connection. I feel like we somehow miss the opportunities that are presented to us, and when able to participate in any group dynamic or intimate dynamic, we grab on or fear the engagement. Certainly the former approach is far better.
Yes Mimi. Yes.
Like Mimi’s comment…her point on “remote”ness” is telling…people need connection…this disconnect can lead people to, at times – not to make the best decisions in some connections, just because they want to belong, be attached to others…, can lead to devastation… ///
When I read your share today…I did think of connection, community. I immediately was taken back to High School and Literature class:
“John Donne’s “No Man is an Island” is about the connection between all of humankind. Donne essentially argues that people need each other and are better together than they are in isolation, because every individual is one piece of the greater whole that is humanity itself.”
Yes Christie!
‘if it brings you joy, why not do more of it?’ yes.
Yes!
I don’t know.
What if we’re not lonely, religion makes sense, and work loves us back?
You are blessed!
I wasn’t talking about myself. I was just asking a question.
And I’m answering. You are blessed.
LAUGHING… .
I have those words, on my refrigerator door, spelled out in large kids magnetic alphabet letter – the alphabet letters came in the color black…
Smiling.
Living the remote life came out of depending on social media and iPhones. Many thoughtful writers brought our attention to the dangers coming from this lifestyle. I sent articles from you, and a book that recommended re-experiencing nature to family members. Two of my grandchildren admitted to knowing that they were paying too much attention to this connection. I think I’ll see what they say about this article….
“If it brings you joy, why not do more of it”. AGREE. Might be me getting older, but I have found the word NO and I am really good at using it now. Saying YES to things that fill my heart and soul.
Btw. Celine. Celine Dion. That would be my artist of connection. I’ll wait for the comments Mr. Canada. 😀
You have found the word NO? Do you ever hear the word NO and accept it?
No.
Oh the delicious irony of THAT
Yes.
Interesting take, I’ve never thought of it this way. Thanks for expanding my perspective 🙂
My pleasure!
We humans all seek belonging and feeling connection with similar souls … What is happening now is that we have to be wary of others who manipulate and exploit this basic human need on the internet.
Yes Mimi in the olden days we actually got together in person and cried sweated and drooled on each other. I’m beginning to see that physical connection, with each other, with family, neighbors, nature, animals and everything else that we can touch and feel, is far more important to our wellbeing and overall health, than what our brain is exposed to. 🙏
Yes Val. Important insight. Thank you.
Reading your comment (with DNC on in the background), I just had the insight that our adult world is responsible for this need and loneliness of young people for more “connection.” Of course many parents have had to or chosen to work long hours that can prevent their even being able to share a meal with their children. The dinner meal was always important to me with my 3 children–that we enjoy it together. Feeling sad about this when I realize what would be missing for those who coudn’t or didn’t have this time of coming together.
An important insight too…. May we all come together in a more hopeful future.
A real need….