Alkalizing Self. Or, Something.

~ Live & Learn

I mean seriously. Look at him. Is this a picture of sanity?

First it was a gentle nudge.

She sends me an article. “You might check this out.”  I skim it.

“The Ice Man.”

“Ice baths.”

“Deep breathing”

“Inner fire meditation and how it alters body chemistry.”

“You can experience lightheadedness, as the arteries and veins to the brain and body close slightly in reaction to the alkalizing blood.”

“You are inducing voluntarily a short stress response which ultimately will lead to more resilience towards everyday stress, mentally and physiology and feeling more in control.”

Blah, blah, blah. Total Bullsh*t. Whack job.

A few days pass.

She comes at me again.

It had to follow yet another blog post about popping new PM sleep pills or inhaling packets of Welch’s Fruit Snacks as sedatives (aka sugar dime bags).

Heavily credentialed on the IQ & EQ front, she approaches a porcupine with caution.

“I don’t know, but for some reason, I just feel like this method is something that would resonate with you….”

Is it that transparent? Is the derailment that apparent?

Let me Translate what she’s saying here.

“Idiot. Listen! Hey YOU! Yes, YOU. IDIOT. Read This. TRY IT.”

I set it aside, stand back from it, like it’s nuclear waste, and get on with my day.

And what a Day it was.

Back to back calls, stress levels screaming, and it began to seep in.

Damn it! What can it hurt, right?

I lock the door, so nobody can see This.

Once.

And the next morning, Again.

The tingling in the fingers.

The tingling in the legs, in the toes.

The lightheadedness.

Jesus.

What the hell is this?

Notes:

53 thoughts on “Alkalizing Self. Or, Something.”

  2. Ok Dave, step away from the ledge…Can you consider something that won’t get you arrested and/or put on a psychiatric hold for 24 hours? Perhaps her point was that you have to do something/anything other than hanging out in the snow in your underwear. Yoga, meditation (you’d be good at this, ‘cause you think a lot 😉)…sauna? How about sitting on the bench by the lake/pond and marveling at what you see through the camera lens? Yeah, that’s the ticket.

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  6. I believe it is the beard that keeps him warm.
    Knowing it’s a safe bet for me, I will make a sizable donation, to the charity of your choice, to see a photo of you in this pose on your blog.

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  11. I did the Wim Hof thing for 3 straight months. Loved the high energy feeling afterwards, which unfortunately began to diminish with time. The feeling I’ve read is due to a dopamine rush. Still do regular deep breathing exercises however.

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  12. Tried to follow through the video. But already the beginning defied me, my breathing is much slower than his. When ‘his’ 30 were done, I had maybe 25 or so. Then the holding the breath in – gosh one minute just about was ok, but then the 90 seconds – no way, I was going to burst. Comments were all about the wonders it brought to them, together with cold showers. I’m however deeply thankful that I can have a warm shower…. I think I love myself too much or what?! 😉
    Is it helping you?
    I’m more with Mimi. Why oh why are you not good enough for yourself? Why can’t you just sit on that lovely lonely bench and breathe in the nature around you, the beauty of the water and morning mists, the rain prickling your skin, the last leaves falling on your parka???? Is that all nothing? When I’ve had great stress I try to disconnect it with having a few minutes just with myself. Sitting in a place I feel good (said bench, or on the sofa, in ‘my’ corner, or whatever) and ‘look how the stress is leaving its shell’, send it away with a virtual wave – and then I try not to get fully stressed out again in the next 60″…..

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  13. No, that’s the photo of a nutcase….. 😉 Or is it?
    Now that I have listened and followed his video, he might well be right as rain and he obviously helped already a trillion of ppl, but that photo really turned me off – even now!

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  14. I did the cold shower thing for a while (actually a Scottish shower), and I can see how it might bring some discipline into one’s life. Ultiamtely though, a warm shower is one of my joys in life, and I wasn’t going to give it up.

    good luck…

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  16. Good for you Dave! Wim story is amazing. When you think he has climbed Mt. Everest no clothes and ran a marathon in the dessert without water, that’s no joke. I tried like you but never stuck with it. Keep going!

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  19. I’m still laughing every time I think about that picture and Susan’s comment, ” I just feel like this method is something that would resonate with you….” I keep thinking of you out in Cove Island Park in the snow,…whipping off your cloak and getting into a split. This may have been weeks ago and I’ve been too busy to do more than read and enjoy your adventures, but this one stays with me and brings joy. Please, keep breathing in and breathing out! [I think that is a photo of Wim Hof when he was younger…?] Breathing exercises are wonderful, also easy, and produce beneficial results!

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