Driving I-95 S. Through another sh*tstorm…

Monday. 5:55 a.m. I-95 S in morning drive to work. I was moving too fast to snap a shot so you’re stuck with that photo of I-95, but it’s North-bound, mid-afternoon, in bumper to bumper traffic several weeks earlier.

Back to Monday morning, and this commuter’s meditation. The hum of tire rotation on pavement. A/C chilling the cabin. Instrumental music from Iceland’s greatest export, Ólafur Arnalds.

12 minutes from the office.

Pre-rush hour traffic flowing smoothly.  75 mph, and ~4 car lengths behind the car in front.  I shift in seat, unable to find sweet spot to ease the lower back pain. It could be worse.  Tune ends, playlist skips to next Arnalds’ track. Rob Roberge: “Words can intrude when the body wants to take over. Lyrics make you think—music helps you just feel.

Then…tail lights from car in front flicker once. Then twice. Then solid red.  Slowing in speed lane on I-95? Amygdala on high alert.  I tap the brakes, eyes scan the roadway. And there she comes: Bambi.  No. No. No.  She’s looking to cross 6 lanes of highway, 3 lanes separated by 5-foot concrete divider.

I lift my right hand the from gear stick, ready to shield myself as she comes through the windshield. My left clenches the steering wheel. And then super-slo-mo.

She dodges the car in front.

There’s a soft thump on my passenger side rear fender.

I see her clear the divider with a foot to spare…and can’t bear to watch any longer to see if she cleared oncoming traffic heading North.

Yanko Flores (The Morning Show): “There is nothing you can do to stop the wind from blowing. So what can you do…? You just keep on moving. And you brace yourself for the shitstorm.”

I turn my attention back to I-95. I find both hands clutching the steering wheel, and can’t seem to release.

I keep on moving…


  1. I was reading this with my heart in my mouth…can imagine how tightly you gripped that steering wheel…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. from reading this, so well written from the heart, I felt what this must have been like for you.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. that would have gotten my heart racing a bit. would have been a good excuse to stop at Dunkin Donuts to get something to calm myself down…

    I’m also glad you opted not to take any photos while driving 75 miles per hour…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. LOVE Ólafur Arnalds. ………. Glad you ae safe!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have a Sentra! I can’t take the traffic sh*storm anymore without clenching everything that CAN contract throughout the many lanes, on-ramps, sudden crossovers for Exits, semi’s all around, everyone doing 75 minimum. With or without the heart-stopping Bambi, it’s all crazy-making, now. Stay safe, DK (and everyone)!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Christie says:

    You had such a Heart-stopping commute…I wonder how many times she’s navigated the 95? I remember when the tree hit you on the 95…safe passage from here on in…for you and the doe…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Awful when that happens. Hard to put it out of your head. Twenty years later I still remember the buck that ran into my truck even though I was just crawling along on black ice. It didn’t make it. Sorry I don’t have the magic answer for how to forget.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I didn’t know lockdown was officially over for you! OMG!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Oh no!! This hurts … “I see her clear the divider with a foot to spare…and can’t bear to watch any longer to see if she cleared oncoming traffic heading North.”


  10. Such a terrible experience and absolutely nothing you could do.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Reading this with my eyes squeezed shut and my stomach in my mouth…. I’m gonna have nightmares on your behalf! The horror of this…
    not even Arnalds can help us here.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Whoa… that had to rattle you for a good long while… I shall choose to believe she made it. Bloody hell…

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Those dear dear deer… so agile and fast and terrified all in one.
    Glad you didn’t have a big encounter — hope she made it. And Arnalds never fails to calm my jagged nerves.

    And… the other day, while getting back in my car at the grocery store, a young buck went racing past the front of my vehicle. I turned to the guy getting in the car beside me and both our mouths were open wide. We looked at each other with that “Did you just see what I saw?” look, smiled and got into our cars, and drove away. The young buck scampered off through the parking lot, away from the river, somewhere into the neighbourhood of this community at the edge of the inner city. Wild.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. If everything is a reflection of us, could this deer be a reflection of our busy minds ha!! It certainly threw some adrenaline into your morning commute 😩

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Somehow missed this post over the weekend, pal. Sounds like a heartstopper. I was driving down State Road 70 the other day, very busy road here, and spied a doe and a fawn running alongside the road, periodically glancing sideways as if contemplating when best to cross. I contemplated stopping my car and getting out to shoo them back into the woods. So heart wrenching to watch these beautiful creatures try to navigate safely through the teaming hordes who have encroached upon their home…. 😦 Glad that you both escaped injury.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. right there with you…my heart aches…

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Christie says:

    Ólafur Arnalds is touring this summer, perhaps in a town near you 🙂 ///gosh I didn’t recall that you were still going into city to the office last June?

    Liked by 1 person

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