Lightly Child, Lightly

How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?

—  Doc Luben, from “#13” in “14 Lines from Love Letters or Suicide Notes” (Genius.com)


Notes:

  • Doc Luben is a spoken word slam poet. He comes from Portland, Oregon. He can be found on Tumblr, where he posts new poems. (Thank you Make Believe Boutique)
  • Post Title & Inspiration: Aldous Huxley: “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.”

17 thoughts on “Lightly Child, Lightly

  1. Whew! those 14 lines! That’s the wonder-fullness of creativity: it gives the artist the opportunity to express–both as artistic expression in any of the arts, and to be able to get it out of oneself. Then it’s important for the witness not to take on another’s “garbage” but to take a look at and be selective. …learning as I speak here… The art we cherish seems to inspire or deeply please us.

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  2. One of the things I pray about nightly is that if someone is struggling with Suicide or Addiction that God Please Intervene…wake the person up from their thoughts of Suicide or send someone to help them and that for those Addicted to Seek Help or for someone to advocate for them until they come to terms with their addiction(s)
    When I was a young child, ironically, living in the same town that Doc Luben currently lives in. I heard the words, took his own life…he committed suicide…he was my sweet cousin’s husband…he used his Law Enforcement service revolver to end his life…he left behind his beautiful wife ( she was married in our estate type backyard, it was so magically) and even younger than me daughter…the little daughter stayed with us off and on for years and we regarded her as our sister… I don’t know how her Mom survived his death and then when her daughter turned six years old she was at her mom’s it was her birthday she got a bicycle…she was hit by a car…she had to have brain surgery, along with a steel plate …I’ll never forget being ten-years old & walking into by darling little cousin’s hospital room…her head was bandaged up like a turban, almost overtaking tiny little face, her big dark eyes dancing with light when she saw me and my sisters, her long beautiful curly hair was gone…What I know about suicide is that it is awful…I’ve known others who have committed suicide… 5 years ago one of my best friends died…she struggled with bi-polar disorder and had attempted suicide several times…her husband told our close knit group that she had committed suicide- we all struggled with this(we were all in disbelief)…her husband announced at her funeral that she had taken her life, as many had no idea how she passed…it was so difficult for us to deal with…she was older than I am now…we kept in contact with her husband and then one day, many months later, he invited us ladies over…he had some items for us and he wanted to talk with us…he told us he’d received a letter from a doctor, specialist (one my hubby used for a procedure) He read us the letter and his opinion on her death was that it was a medical condition Not Suicide…we were thankful for the information…this summer I’ve been trying to come to terms with the loss from suicide of a young surgeon I know…his entire life he was such a bright light…I feel so badly for his Mom (Dad passed years ago) and his brothers…this is her second son Lost to Suicide…I know that Doctors and Military Vets have some of the highest rates of Suicide…I’ve dealt with other losses from suicide…and for me it is harder to grip since they made a choice when they weren’t in clear state of mind…When my nephew was about 21 he thought about being a youth pastor…he was walking in a park, heard a gunshot and found a young man who had just killed himself…I know my nephew if he’d passed by the man he would have attempted to stop him…just so totally sad…if he’d been there at the park just a few minutes earlier…my nephew didn’t become a youth pastor…Pray people pray…

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  3. My marrow finds that poem to be scary-sad and that it can’t redeem itself, but to answer #13’s excerpt: No one who thick-or-thin matters ever demanded we become anyone else. We were enough.

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  4. This question used to haunt me, and when I read it in your post, I realized I haven’t felt that way in a while. The only becoming that matters to me now is becoming more loving, more connected, more joyful, more helpful, more forgiving, more generous, more present – to stop looking up stream for answers when life is downstream.

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