Three Advil every three hours wasn’t taking the edge off. The pain was ripping thru my left shoulder and rolling down my arm. And during sporadic moments, there was relief. And, I would breathe. But the storm returned.
Resistance to professional evaluation had run its course. It was time.
A five minute wait in the waiting room.
X-Rays of shoulder prior to examination.
“Shirt off please.”
Doctor steps in. “Resist here.” “Push back there.” “Is it tender here?” “Or here?”
“Sports injury?” As he looks at the bone protruding on the left shoulder.
He continues.
“I’d like to get x-rays of your neck. Your shoulder pain, it’s a red herring.”
He flips the x-rays up, and points to the vertebrae.
“See here. That’s normal spacing. See here. That’s some serious arthritis.”
“Arthritis?” That’s for Old people. No irony crosses the thoughts in the mind of a Man on the wrong side of 50.
“Yes. Cervical spondylosis, or arthritis of the neck. Let me go grab my prescription tablet.”
He walks out and its me, my x-rays and my neck, all three of us sitting in silence with the overhead florescent lights buzzing.
My God. How many moments, days, years were you sitting, walking, breathing painlessly, and taking it all for granted? How many?
A passage from Margaret Atwood’s new book “The Testaments” drifts in: “I hadn’t considered what it was like to leave a place you knew, and lose everything, and travel into the unknown. How hollow and dark that must feel, except for maybe the little glimmer of hope that had allowed you to take such a chance. Very soon, I, too was going to feel like that. I would be in a dark place, carrying a tiny spark of light, trying to find my way.”
“We’re going to start with some stronger meds, like Super Advil, and then I want you in Physical Therapy for 30 days. Let’s hope this works. If not, we will move to Stage 2.”
Stage 2. Hmmmm. Physical therapy. Super Advil. None of this sounded promising.
No Chiropractors for lower back pains. Not a buyer.
No Astrology or Horoscopes. Please.
No Palm Reading. Please.
No Psychiatry for a long list of head maladies. We self-serve here.
No Podiatry.
No Church. Unless, it is really hopeless, and then we yell for Help. And we’re not there yet.
And now we have Physical Therapy, a few jumping jacks and hand-to-toe-touches and I’m good as new. Right. Pfffttttt.
I see the dark place. Where the h*ll is the tiny spark of light?
(Stay Tuned to Part II)
Notes:
- Photo: verywellhealth.com
- Post Title & Inspiration: Aldous Huxley: “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.”
Live & Learn 
Oh dear. Why do we always think Arthritis is only for Old people? That´s folks over 80, right? It may be a way of our body saying, slow down. Hope the treatment helps. xo
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Me too Darlene. Thank you.
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ouch. I’m hoping your treatment helps and part of that will be slowing down. not the prognosis you were looking for, but a new reality nonetheless, in the way that life pushes us down paths we need to go, kicking and screaming at times
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So true Beth. I still haven’t left the mourning phase and I can see the screaming not so far off. 🙂
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I’m sorry you’re going through this
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Thank you Beth.
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And I now have a much better picture (and appreciation) for those with chronic illnesses. What courage and strength they have.
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Yes, it really puts things into perspective very quickly
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David. Slowing down does not mean stopping. Take it from a 71 year old who, like most men, is still you in his mind, if not body. We need to stay healthy as there is much work to do to right this world, each in their own way. Keep writing. Your words inspire many. John
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Awww, thanks John. So good to hear from you. Hope you are doing well.
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opps. Damn autocorrect, my worst enemy. Should be young in his mind.
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Awww, hate seeing you in pain.
Waiting for part 2!
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It’s coming. It is in gestation cycle now.
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I’ve been on strong anti-inflammatory medication since Saturday too. For severe plantar fasciitis and tissue damage. Also because 4 Advils every 4 hours wasn’t helping. The new medicine is slightly helping but making me sleepy 😔.
And to add insult to injury I’m adjusting to new custom inserts. All the pain medication is not taking care of my burning blisters. My soul is blistered this week.
Hang in there…
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Awww. So sorry to hear this. As Christie says, “every breath, a blessing.”
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With every breath my blisters throb!!!
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Oh NO!
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Aaaawwww Sawsan; once more I had to look up your pain and does it sound familiar?! Yep, it does. Here’s what the Mayo Clinic says:
Plantar fasciitis is more common in runners. People who are overweight and those who wear shoes with inadequate support also have an increased risk of plantar fasciitis.
I had that too a few times, but I never went to see a doctor, just put it down on my miles-thick soles’ skin, the dryness of skin and old age (notwithstanding not enough sport, overweight, and whatnot).
I really, really feel for you – and poor David – you two make a fine suffering couple! Hang on, be strong, don’t let the buggar win 😉
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I have put a lot of mileage on my feet. The good news is it’s treatable. It can heal if I take care of it.
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Speedy healing then, I can only say. It’s so difficult because it’s our poor feet carrying us through life!
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Roll a frozen bottle of water under your foot for 15 minutes a few times per day. It really helps.
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This would help my neck?
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I wouldn’t do frozen anything near the neck.
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Sawsan’s foot!!
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This exercise and the tennis ball exercise are helping significantly.
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That was the other thing I was going to suggest ..
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Oh man, pal, this doesn’t sound great, but on the plus side, at least you know what’s really going on now and can address the problem. Perhaps add some palliative care like acupuncture, yoga, and meditation to your quiver? Slowing down a bit doesn’t mean stopping, just means embracing a new course of action. Your mind is your most powerful tool, and Lord knows your mind is strong! ☺️
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Smiling. Thanks Lori. Need to do something different. I’ve taken your cures and I’m on the way to explore a path…Thank you.
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Lori, your words in Dave’s ears!
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Deep breaths, pal…No jumping jacks – the physical therapy will help a bit (it will widen some cramped spaces, increasing blood flow, etc)…and Super Advil? Will you share? 😉. Seriously, once you feel better your mantra will change and perhaps concede that everyone gets a roll in the barrel, and if this is yours it ain’t that bad. Ok, that’s projection – that’s what I tell myself…Feel better
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Smiling. You would know this journey Mimi. You would. Thank you for your kind thoughts. And yes, this Super Advil does provide temporary relief…until the next tablet.
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Hang in there…when the pain eases so will the fatalism…
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I’m waiting. Impatiently but waiting for that blue sky. 😬
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The tiny spark of light is that it’s probably treatable. As I age and develop more ‘interesting’ conditions, I always focus on the sparks.
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Hi Bernard. I believe your prescription is so correct. Your thoughts remind me of:
Whatever problems we may have in the present, in every one of us this ‘uncreated spark in the soul’ remains untouched, ever pure, ever perfect. Even if we try with all our might to douse or hide it, it is always ready to set our personality ablaze with light.“
~ Eknath Easwaran, Words to Live By: Daily Inspiration for Spiritual Living (Nilgiri Press, 2010)
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Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
This sounds so very interesting!! … ‘I see the dark place. Where the h*ll is the tiny spark of light?’ … (Stay Tuned to Part II)
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I’ve had both shoulders rebuilt the last five years. Then last year I started getting a stiff neck. It was affecting my driving. Hard to check the blind spots. I went for a few sessions with a chiropractor. Seemed to help a little, or more than a little. A year went by. Two weeks ago I was at the dentist getting an implant, and the tension in my neck was through the roof, and now I may have to seek some more care.
Got a little story out of it.
https://srevestories.blogspot.com/2018/12/what-am-i-like-at-rest.html
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Wow Steve. You’ve been through a lot.
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Between safety glasses for work, hearing aids, rebuilt shoulders and dental imp0lants I’m practically bionic!
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Amazing!
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Sending healing vibes David 💫 bodies are stronger than we think 💪 have a sparkly day ~ smiles Hedy 😀
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Thank you Hedy. Let’s hope so. Happy Holidays.
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yes, me too sending positive feeling and thoughts dear David, I hope and wish you get well soon. Love, nia
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Thank you Nia. Happy Holidays.
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gosh, I’m sorry. BTDT. Crying while lying on the sofa, told my husband that only general anesthesia would help. Ended up with physical therapy and traction. And massage once things had calmed down, because the muscle spasms that followed were chronic and terrible. My massage therapist believes in stretching the muscles and reteaching them what relaxation is supposed to be. Twenty years or so later, I have many days without pain. And my very own percussion massager to treat myself in between. I don’t take pain drugs, at all. My lucky escape from opioids is another story; I refused to fill the prescription because it was the drug people kept breaking into pharmacies to steal and I figured I didn’t want any.
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Wow Linnea. Thanks for sharing. Here’s wind at your back for more days without pain. Thanks for passing along your experience.
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Linnea, I applaud you. I’m allergic to most medication and thus learned rather early to get by with the less strong stuff. I do homeopathy, let myself be ‘needled’, rolled and flattened and try not to get myself into too much trouble. But this sounds really serious! Wishing you good health.
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So, the spark I see is no mention of the ‘S’ word. Sending you healing, strengthening thoughts your way, David.
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Hi Carolann. Thank you. Happy Holidays to you!
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Happy Holidays to you and your family, David!
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Take a shot in your cervical spine (steroid) and shoulder pain will lesson been there done that after being rear ended by that NYC Casino bus 😦 better than opiods and the rotten path they can take you down. Feel better soon
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He said steriods were Stage 2. I’m hoping to avoid this but, let’s see. Thank you Eunice. Happy Holidays.
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Right back at you! Do not let them drag it and the pain out I also hate taking anything but you have life to live ❤
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So agree. Let’s see where he takes me. I appreciate the encouragement. Thank you.
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Cortisone injections are a miracle but the shots are not too fun, I had injections in my mid back T7 and it was done with an imaging device s he could place the needle perfectly, I had about 10 injections and I asked is it over, the nurse was holding my hand and tears fell from my yes desire my trying to hold them in, he said that was the anesthesia , I said I think we could have skipped those and the Dr said no way you would want that, it did fix my severe back pain from facet syndrome.
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Wow. Thank you for sharing. I’m so glad that the “fix was in.” Happy Holidays.
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I had no pain getting mine done the same way, it was stressful in someone else’s hands to be sure but pain was gone and back to living once again.
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So glad to hear that!
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Aaaah, poor, poor Dave. I feel SO very sorry for you and cannot imagine how you cope with these excrutiating pains with your hyper-active lifestyle and ever longer list of things you ‘need’ to do. Maybe your body tells you to slow down a bit RIGHT NOW. And since you didn’t listen, you’re paying a high price now? I send you a prayer (even if you don’t believe in it – I do!) and many soothing thoughts. Take care of yourself, you’ve got yourself only once.
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I’m nodding my head reading this and saying to myself, “she’s right. She’s right. She’s right”. Thank you Kiki.
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That’s what’s so upsetting to Hero Husband: She is right, so often….. ha ha ha! No seriously, you’ve GOT to be kinder to yourself!
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it sucks and most of us will get it somewhere on our body tot he point of taking meds. Your on the Young side of 60!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
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Smiling! It does suck! Thank you Melinda. You’ve been through much more pain and for a far longer term. Happy Holidays!
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One thing I know for sure….I’m blessed!
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We all are!
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Arthritis, eh? Damn. Physiotherapy will help you cope with it and find other ways to keep healthy. It’s not the end, just a new beginning. Like all have said, now you know what you have, you can focus on finding what works for you. This getting older business really sucks balls at times, doesn’t it?
Sending you good vibes, my friend.
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Yes. Yes it is Dale. Thank you.
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I think I’ve mentioned that I’m old enough to be your mom…and it’s true! Getting old sucks, big time! I was having trouble with my foot, just an annoying pain in the middle of the night…and I was told I have SEVERE arthritis in my foot. Okay, I know now, but I’m not taking drugs for it because I’m one of the unfortunate ones in this country with very poor health insurance. The pain comes and goes, I live with it. I’ve learned that certain foods make a difference. If I stay away from sugar completely then I am pain free. Just a thought for you to try…but I know the thought in itself must be painful. So sorry you’re going through all of that, David. I say this with a wish for wellness. You are such a wonderful and needed person in this world.
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Hi Carol. Thank you. “If I stay away from sugar completely then I am pin free.” I have a real problem with sugar. Real problem. I need to try this, or at least start cutting down. Thank you.
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Well, then this is going to be good news indeed: https://getpocket.com/explore/item/a-tiny-tweak-to-sugar-is-about-to-make-the-world-s-sweets-a-lot-healthier?utm_source=pocket-newtab
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More potent sweet in fewer servings. I NEED THIS!
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I’ve had arthritis since I was 11 and it’s what drove me to recently start writing. First time I’ve stumbled across your blog and found the writing style really powerful. Awesome stuff.
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Thank you for the kind words Joel. Arthritis since 11. Wow. Your strength is admirable. Those of us who have been free of arthritis have had no idea.
I read your landing page this morning. You are an inspiration!
“I am stubborn and do as much as my body permits so although there will be posts when I’m struggling or having a bad day, I hope that I can inspire, demonstrate the positive side of those of us fighting arthritis or living with chronic pain and show that anything is possible with the right attitude and motivation.”
Thank you for dropping by.
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Sorry to hear about your pain. I was happy to see that the doctor did not just prescribe medication – I’m a big fan of PT. Good luck!
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Thank you Jim. This stubborn mule needs a bat between the eyes to try new cures. As the quote goes, “the definition of insanity is…”
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I think you will like the PT; it’s a proactive approach to the problem.
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Looking forward to it!
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Oh Dear David, so sorry this is about you! [I wrote a comment answering this Part I a week ago, but used mac and mac password–guess that doesn’t work]. Maybe most important may be that you reach for that forever spark that is always there, and let yourself be comforted and guided.
To join the cadre of those who’ve been athletic (also dance) and suffered arthritis, various externals can help: arnica montana homeopathic perles and gel, yoga movement, the right kind of physical therapy with someone who appreciates the athletic body, diet of no garbage or poison (white sugar, white flour), and believe it or not, lowering the intake of nightshade vegetables (tomatoes, eggplant, potatoes, peppers). Also love yourself enough to take care of your vehicle–maybe too much movement (running) hurt. If you notice, many old athletes have severe arthritis. You can learn what would be best diet and regime for you. We all care and want you to thrive.
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So much wisdom here Valerie. I have the exercise part down. I need, i MUST do this and especially my diet. This needs immediate change. I KNOW it, I just need to DO IT. Thank you.
the right kind of physical therapy with someone who appreciates the athletic body, diet of no garbage or poison (white sugar, white flour), and believe it or not, lowering the intake of nightshade vegetables (tomatoes, eggplant, potatoes, peppers).
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I am thankful that your PT is helping!
I meant to mention this back in Dec. Your doctor asked about a prior injury…You Did Have a Prior Injury…think back to the previous Dec of 2018 when you had your surgery and Eric found you unconscious bleeding on the floor…you’d injured the back of your head and I would say your Neck as well…
Back in your offering: https://davidkanigan.com/2019/12/07/riding-metro-north-no-wings/#comments
I left 3 comments which maybe helpful to you, even now.
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Wow. I never thought of that Christie. That is Something. Thank you!
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Of course you had a prior injury! Astute, Christie! Yes, re-read the helpful hints from those of us who’ve suffered and then improved.
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Christie doesn’t miss a beat.
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