I walk Zeke outside.
He sniffs at the grass, at the plants, at the trace of bunny in the air.
I watch him circle the yard: It’s gone.
The vigorous flourish of the tail. The accelerated gait, his canter. All gone. In its place, the all-consuming lethargy.
The panting is incessant. His barrel chest rising and falling, a steam engine chugging, The Little Red Engine That Could: I think I can, I think I can, I think I still can.
He’s parched, always. His long tongue stretches to lap up gulps of water.
And Dad, “I’m hungry. I’m always hungry. I can’t help myself. It’s those damn white pills you wrap in the lunch meat.”
The steroid dosage has been lowered, his normal surefootedness slipping. Another stumble up the stairs this morning, his head lunging into the hardwood –and then, a soft, helpless yelp.
Water from a tap drips.
No one is ready for this. No one wants this.
This shot clock is running out.
Related Posts: Zeke
Live & Learn 
Sounds like Zeke is well loved.
LikeLiked by 2 people
He is…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh pal, I can’t ‘like’ this post…Zeke – sweet, funny, adored…my heart hurts..
LikeLiked by 2 people
And I don’t “like” writing it. 🙂 Thanks Mimi.
LikeLike
I know…I really do
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nice look
LikeLiked by 1 person
All you Sensai! It’s taking me almost 5 years to figure out how to post a pic on a blog post and center it. Slow learned. Thanks for staying on me. 🙂
LikeLike
Dave, some of the most difficult times in my adult life was dealing with the end of my beloved 3 babies, Abby, Max and Lucky and I’m so deeply sorry for you the family. However I also know that my most happiest times and memories were watching them grow, the unconditional love they gave, the pure joy they brought to our household with every crazy fun thing they did, the warmth of their snuggle the security of their look look that they would protect us and the ultimate and loyal partner they were to us. I remember when you got Zeke, I remember you naming him, a puppy in the snow and all the beautiful memories you have and will make from now until He crosses the rainbow. Soak up every minute and know that you gave him a great life, a great family and you are a great DAD! I pray that Zeke has all the time with you that GOD will provide….and peace and serenity when it is time for Zeke, you and all! Xoxoxo❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiling. You Marisa, are always a bright light. And given everything that you have faced, you operate on a higher plane. Thank you. And so good to hear from you again.
LikeLike
Such a beautiful and caring response…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Christie.
LikeLike
I’m trying to be hopeful but i know better. This is going to really hurt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so sorry, David. He knows you understand. Our dogs ignite something primal inside us that cuts through all the other crap–ego, masks, fear of connection. They make us better. Holding you, Zeke, and the rest of your family in my heart.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Martha. So good to hear from you. “Primal” and “cuts through all the crap”. You’ve captured it beautifully Martha. Thank you.
LikeLike
Virtual hugs from Southwest Michigan. It is never easy to say goodbye to a member of the family that loves you unconditionally. Having shared dog stories with you for years now, I’m glad I’m alone this morning so no one sees me slobbering sad. As difficult as it may be to do, I encourage you to be there with him when the clock runs out. Hang in there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t know if this the end or a step along the way…. But whichever it it, hold him close to your heart and give him all the love there is to give. I’m sure he knows and feels comfort in that. Hugs to you xo
LikeLiked by 3 people
Let hope a step Val. So we can meet on the other side. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Gees. Your comment just made me slobbering sad. Thank you Ray.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dave,
It’s one of the toughest thing I have had to do as an adult. They are family so we do what’s best, enjoy the time you have and you will always have sweet memories. I made a video of just being silly with mine before he went over the rainbow bridge. It’s been years, I still watch it sometimes. All the best my friend. I wish they could live forever.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Rannie. So great to hear from you. We haven’t made a video but you’ve encouraged me to do the same. Thank you.
LikeLike
It is so hard to see a loved one, decline…hold him close. He knows you love him, dearly…We’ve had our pup out for a hike in the mountains on Friday, he was so excited to go in the car and ride on the console and then the hike..he stopped at about every tree…I’ve noticed him slowing down, he is eight and such a good, sweet boy…he’s my husband first dog…Hugs to you and your family…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Walking a dog in mountains. What’s better than that. Thanks Christie.
LikeLike
I can’t say that I like the Like button for this post. I know how you feel and all I can say is just enjoy the time with your wonderful pup.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey Bro. Thank you.
LikeLike
Just this morning as I was petting Ruby, our older springer spaniel, I felt the lump on her chest, hoping it hasn’t gotten any bigger. Then I realized she’s almost 10, and I should brace myself. The time is coming. But until then, I’m going to enjoy her company every day I can. It’s so hard to go through this time with pets. Your Zeke looks lovely.
LikeLiked by 1 person
awwww, hope Ruby is ok Anneli. It is a difficult time, yet they seem to be doing better than we are… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So far she’s healthy enough except for the lump, but she’s sure slowing down. I recognize that behaviour from my own experience. Everything becomes more of a chore. More aches and pains. But as long as we’re still feeling the pain, we’re on the right side of the grass!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiling. That’s right Anneli.
LikeLiked by 1 person
David
Sorry to read about Zeke, it is hard to let go, just think of all the memories, we will too,
Seek is loved by many
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Lou.
LikeLike
As a former dog owner and lover, these are the times most dreaded.
-Alan
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agree fully Alan.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh so sorry to hear this! I know how close you and your family are to Zeke. 😢 Each day will be precious for you. 🙏🏻
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Karen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh no, David. Agony. We went through it for 3 months with Rufus, and I can relate to all of it – the steroids, the pills , the thirst. What really got to us was he tried so hard to cover it up. Finally he gave in and looked at us one morning saying please let me go now. Still cuts me up to think about it. Thinking of you all mister.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow….your description is what Zeke is living. Thanks for sharing Michael.
LikeLike
It’s so hard to watch them decline. For us the heart-break came last February when Bumble clearly told us it was time to let him go. Please enjoy the time you have with Zeke. Give him a hug from me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Helen.
LikeLike
Oh no…my heart breaks for your family.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Peg.
LikeLike
This hit home David. It wasn’t easy saying goodbye to my father this morning. And like someone up here said “We don’t know if this is the end or a step along the way!
I wish you all Grace, tons of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
ahhhh, thank you Sawson. All the best to your Father.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are surrounded with understanding and compassion. Be good to yourself, your companion knows the love that is shared.
Peace…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Carrie
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh David, this hurts. Courage…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Perpetua.
LikeLike
Oh, this is so sad. I’ve probably missed quite a few posts about Zeke. What happened? What is wrong?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bad vaccine (related to a regular shot). He immediately reacted badly to it. Steroids are trying to treat it but it doesn’t look all that promising. He’s always hungry, thirsty and hot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is so horrible, OMG. Once again, in an instant so much can change. I hope so much that a miracle happens and Zeke recovers. I have wondered for the last 22 years of my life about vaccines and immunizations. I blame immunizations on Cody’s sudden diabetes as a new baby. He was fine for many months and then overnight he was diabetic after receiving immunizations. I’ll never know for sure, but it is my belief that injecting newborn babies with so many deadly illnesses all at once in an effort to try and protect them…is really too much. Anyway, I feel so awful for Zeke and I’ll be hoping for a miracle. Love to you and your family.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Carol. And wow, on Cody, and here he is today. Amazing life is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bad vaccine, that is awful…Our daughter had a bad reaction to a vaccine when she was under18 months old, in an instant, changed her forever…Again, I am sorry about Zeke, hope he is resting comfortably today…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Christie. I hope your daughter is ok today.
LikeLike
Crying. Feeling the love for Zeke, feeling Zeke’s love for you, as he tries to stay present for you. Our golden Henry did the same. Kept on going, even though the going was so difficult. Henry’s been gone now for over 2 years, but he still visits occasionally (and TRULY, he does). I discovered that they have such strong spirits, they remain with us forever.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Pamela. They do have strong spirits, no matter what.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, DK, I hate this for you.
I’ve been in your situation too many times. I wish I knew the RIGHT way to do it, but all we have is our gut and the communication we’ve nurtured with our animal. All I can offer is: Trust yourself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Sandy. I appreciate it.
LikeLike
my heart breaks for you. Zeke is so noble looking….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you LouAnn
LikeLike
Ahhh, pal, like Mimi, just cannot bring myself to hit the ‘like’ button. I know in my deepest heart what an integral part of your family this beautiful boy is, and having been down this road several times myself, I know the gaping hole that they leave when they go. I still have moments when I am hit by a memory of one of my canine companions and just weep. Love Zeke all ya can in the time that you have, and as Sandy says, trust your heart.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Lori.
LikeLike
he is such a lovely dog and family member, cherish every moment –
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Beth. We are…
LikeLike
Oh, David, I’m so sorry.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Carolann.
LikeLike
Can’t think how I found you. Through my network, somehow. Interesting posts. This one really grazes a nerve. We have an old Lab and his days are numbered. His energy reminds me of what I’m reading here of your own sweet Zeke. Otter tail still thrashing, arthritic paws bedamned, still up for walkies, no matter. He stumbles occasionally which doesn’t seem to faze. When a strong spirit keep them alive, we count our blessings. Sending you fond thoughts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Bela. Thanks for sharing. Appreciate our kind thoughts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never lose hope, my friend. No matter what!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We’re trying Marina. We’re trying. Thank you.
LikeLike