“Beauty is often treated as an essentially feminine subject, something trivial and frivolous that women are excessively concerned with. Men, meanwhile, are typically seen as having a straightforward and uncomplicated relationship with it: they are drawn to it. The implication is that this may be unfortunate—not exactly ideal morally—but it can’t be helped, because it’s natural, biological. This seems more than a little ironic. Women are not only subject to a constant and exhausting and sometimes humiliating scrutiny—they are also belittled for caring about their beauty, mocked for seeking to enhance or to hold onto their good looks, while men are just, well, being men.
The reality is, of course, far more complicated, as our best novelists show us. They train our gazes on men at not only their most shallow and status conscious but also at their most ridiculous (the clenched jaw). It’s not always easy to know what to make of these men, who certainly aren’t wholly bad. But in a world where women are so frequently judged by their looks, it’s refreshing to encounter male characters whose superficial thoughts are at least acknowledged by their creators.”
~ Adelle Waldman, in an excerpt from The New Yorker, “A First-Rate Girl”: The Problem of Female Beauty
Image of Kaya Scoderlario from Baronvonmerkens
Ah yes, I for one typically zone in on a clenched jaw and just sigh…I’m not sure I agree with this in total. but there is no doubt that there are a ridiculous number of social and literal cues that offer women a very distorted perception of themselves. I do though think that’s true for me as well – it’s just that they have a better filter in place (or care less?).
So much there. I will just ponder and stop. 🙂
“…the intense and often guilty relationship that many men have with female beauty, a subject with profound repercussions for both men and women.” I probably shouldn’t EVEN get started on this one. I will simply stick to my belief that “beauty is only skin deep.” The real stuff lies below the surface…and anyone who doesn’t get that is lost. And, yes, I already know that there are a lot of lost souls out there. 🙂
I figured this one would light “you” up. Laughing.
BTW, I have noticed that you have changed your FB picture multiple times. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the research shared above. (LOL now)
Hmmm…wonder what that’s supposed to mean. All I can really say is that I’m only interested in someone who is willing to look below the surface…everyone else can take a hike. 🙂 Guess I better change my profile pic again…it’s been the same one for a whole two days, I think.
Stomach hurts from laughing.
David, you’re having way too much fun here…
Oh, yes I am.
I changed my profile pic…and it’s not even me, it’s my daughter…and she for sure can’t help what she looks like, so I’m not going to apologize. 🙂
Pulled stomach muscle from laughing. Stop it.
Okay… 🙂
I agree completely. What’s below the surface, counts. The rest is superficial and sometimes results in serious health problems.
Yes, it does Peggy
This is one of my favorite subjects–the difference between men and women. Researchers have shown that men are attracted by sight and smell, women by touch and sound. So, it makes perfect sense to me that the media (male dominated) is so visual and that beauty is so important in our culture. It *is* biology.
But, it’s just the male side of biology. We girls need to band together and start demanding British baritones on all news broadcasts!
Thanks for the insight Sandy…they was a learning for me…
Almost like a cruel joke.
Laughing.
Beauty is definitely only skin deep, David. It’s also transitory, so why does the media place so much importance on good looks?
Biology Sylvia. Biology.
i picture count vronsky from anna karenina –
I didn’t get beyond the first chapter in Anna Karenina many years ago. Should I pick it up again?
for some reason i felt a desire to read it earlier this year, after many years of avoiding it. i grew to understand and be fascinated by the characters and i could not stop reading it. count vronsky was anna’s lover, a man’s man, macho and brave in every way, beautiful and desired by many, clenched jaw and officer as well, who i wanted to dislike but he really was a decent man who truly loved her. not black or white, truly a gray character, my favorite.
i decided at this point in my life, to stop reading something when it doesn’t call out to me in some way, and to read things that draw me in for whatever reason. life is short, there are many wonderful things to be read, i don’t waste my energy on words i don’t feel a pull to.
Sounds like a ringing endorsement. I will take it off the shelf and get after it. Thank you Beth.
and if you open it and still don’t feel it, close it and put it back on the shelf, nothing lost but a moment’s glance. interesting discussion coming from a post on outer beauty that somehow moved into tolstoy.
“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
– wonderful first line of the book.
You got me with the first line. Forgot it. Thank you again.
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! 🙂
Really enjoyable read. Thank you David.
Hi Geoff. Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you.
Actually David, I love your blog. Thanks a million.
Thank you Geoff. I appreciate it very much.