Note to Self: You deserve your sleepless night…

SELF: Not a good day today?

DK:  No.  Day started at 4:25 am.  3 days with this start time.  I could feel it wearing on me.  It started ok and then progressively deteriorated.

SELF: What happened?  Talk to me.

DK: I sent a rocket on email and insulted a respected colleague (IN CAPS no less) and copied others on the email.  All intentionally and consciously.  This set off a chain reaction.  None of it pleasant.  All counter productive.

SELF: Not good.

DK: Yes, Sarcasm Gone Wild.  And it gets worse.

SELF: Tell me.

DK:  Jumped another colleague because I didn’t feel pace was quick enough.  Later learned that I didn’t have all the facts.

SELF: Hmmmmmmm.  There’s more?

DK: Yes.  But can we please stop now?

SELF: You know you want to get it off your chest.

DK:  And then I finished my day with….(swallow hard part)…..criticizing a high potential colleague in front of another.

SELF: Trifecta!

DK: Shut up.

SELF: Think any of these approaches helped?

DK: Grrrrrrrr.  Do you think this conversation is helping?

SELF: You know better.

DK: Yes I do.

SELF: Not going to sleep well are you?

DK: Nope.  Not a wink.

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Comments

  1. Hang in there, David. We’ve all had days like this. You’ll regroup. Thanks for your candor.

  2. OH MY GOSH!! YOU NEED SLEEP and possibly to slap your”self” !

  3. No one is perfect. You had a bad day. You know you’re better than that. You don’t deserve a sleepless night. The best way to measure yourself as a person is not through self-abuse, but by how well you can put this behind you and excel. Get up tomorrow, go to work, apologize where needed, and prove to everyone you’re the person you know you are. That is called character. Self-abuse is nothing more than a pity party to make yourself feel better, as though you paid some kind of penance to wash away your mistakes.

  4. You definitely need sleep, but in order to sleep, you may need a plan for how you’re going to fix things. I find that when I mess up in a big, bad way, I cannot sleep at all unless I have a Plan A and a Plan B. If it’s an horrific mess-up, I like to have a Plan C in my back-pocket. Make a plan and then sleep. Maybe get some exercise, too.
    Chin up. These things happen. The real questions are what are you going to do about it, why did it happen in the first place and what can you do to prevent a repeat.
    Hang in there…..

    • Hi Vicky. Lack of sleep. Trying to force the pace. My frustration in not being able to assist. And BOOM. I’m still moving to Plan B. Apologies don’t flow easy. But I’m on it. Thanks for your thoughts and kindness. Dave

  5. Glad everyone knows what Eric, Mom and I are subjected to at home…

  6. David – this is very well done. A challenging topic done with style and humor. Kudos!

  7. karen Sokota says:

    Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.” -Carl Jung

    Now you can go to sleep.

  8. When you bring it to your conscious, that’s the first step to learn and get better. No need to bring it to your sleep though. Forgive yourself, apologize, and sleep well.

  9. 2 of my favorite quotes that I know to be true….
    “The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves” – Ray Croc

    “It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one’s heart rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologize.” – Stephen Covey

  10. David – I had quite a few of these nights myself, tend to jump the gun :) am sure an apology and some special attention to the colleagues in question would help your peace of mind.

    Regards,
    Suchitra

  11. Too bad you lost a night’s sleep, because it’s exactly what you may need to re-fill your tank. It seems like you’re depleted, and are probably taking it out on yourself more than anyone else.

    Can you take the day ( or even the morning or afternoon off) to do something restorative? Get to be early? Please?

    If you need more encouragement than I can provide in a post, the book Willpower by Baumeister and Tierney makes an excellence case for restorative breaks and sleep.

  12. No one expects you to be perfect. Own it, make it right, and move on, but you knew that.

  13. David

    It does not sound like you at all

  14. I think we all have had at least one night similar to this.

  15. Your demonstration here of “controlled disclosure” is powerful, and a part of your authenticity as a leader. Like everyone else says, well done for sharing it.

    Now go and complete the process by talking to those you feel you have wronged and let yourself move on.

  16. Ah I too know this type of day & sleepless night. All a learning experience. We are human & constantly messing up. Hard part is recognizing the problem but you already have & you’ll fix. Kudos to you

  17. I love that your “self” is a partner in your learning. Too many times we turn our “self” off – oblivious to what is right or what we can learn. Authentic self discussions open up the possibility of growth. Love it in so many ways.

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