FEBRUARY 7, 2012
Speaking Up Is Hard to Do: Researchers Explain Why
By ELIZABETH BERNSTEIN
“…Ever felt like an idiot in a meeting at work or clammed up at a cocktail party? New research from Virginia Tech shows that many people are actually less intelligent in small group settings…Have you ever clammed up at a party or found yourself tongue-tied at a meeting for fear of saying something stupid—even though you consider yourself at least as smart as anyone else in the room?
Researchers offer an explanation of why many people become, in effect, less intelligent in small group settings…If we think others in a group are smarter, we may become dumber, temporarily losing both our problem-solving ability and what the researchers call our “expression of IQ.”
The clamming-up phenomenon seems to be more common in women and in people with higher IQs, according to the report…The researchers reported that 11 of the 14 “low performers” were female; 10 of the 13 “high performers” were men.
The low-performers were more attuned to group social dynamics, subconsciously worrying about their performance and evaluating themselves in relation to others, the researchers speculate.
Women often are more attentive to what others may be feeling or thinking, a sensitivity that likely has an evolutionary origin…For the group to provide you with any extra stability or protection, you had to be sensitive to how the group was doing.
Help For the Tongue-Tied
Do you often find it difficult to speak up in a small group? Here are some ways to cope?
- Pair up with a peacock. Join with someone who is more outgoing than you, or has a higher position within the group. In a social situation, this person can introduce you and keep talk flowing, or bring up your points in a business meeting and then toss you an opening into the conversation. ‘You find an avenue where you are being pulled in,’ says Michael Woodward, a New York organizational psychologist.
- Talk to the person running the meeting beforehand. Mention the points you want to discuss and ask for an opportunity to bring them up. Explain why you are asking.
- Prepare. In a business meeting, know what you want to say, practice your delivery and bring notes. This will help prevent you from being distracted by what others are saying and wondering how you should respond. ‘Any good politician knows his talking points…
- Take a break. If you are in a situation that is making you anxious or draining your mental energy, get some water or take a walk. Think of this as resetting your brain, just as you’d turn your computer off to reset it if it were frozen.
- Realize others in the room likely feel the same way. And remember: The people who froze the most in the Virginia Tech study were actually the smartest.
Speak Up Image Source: swimupstreamlife.com
Great post, it’s very informative…
Reblogged this on Hodgepodge 4 the Soul and commented:
Hmmm…
Very interesting post. This happens to a lot of people.
Great and informative post. Thanks for sharing.
BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!
Oh, for pity’s sake. First, the sample size is too small to mean anything. Second, for centuries women have been explicitly taught to play dumb to make men feel more manly. Third, you just get tired after a while when you find that you’re in a situation where most of what you say is ignored, so you stfu. Fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and so on, a sample size of 70 people is way to small to mean anything whatsoever.
I wonder how much of an influence the leadership style is toward group participation, whether in a social setting or meeting. My observation is that if a few people dominate the conversation/discussion, but do not also listen when other’s talk, soon the group turn into a bunch listening (or waiting for the time to come to an end) while a few talk. However, if those talking give breaks and ask other’s their opinions, then more people get involved. This takes some awareness and skills to create a genuine atmosphere of conversation, rather than group monologues.
I think you have a good point. The leader’s influence on group dynamics, chemistry, and communication is critical. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Dave
I have the opposite problem. People have a hard time getting me to shut up. LOL
Shyness does come from a lack of self-confidence, though. People are so concerned with what others think that they forget how truly wonderful they are.
Thank you for bringing this to everyone’s attention.
David, thanks for this post. Even though the sampling size is small, all the points raise resonate with me (except I never considered myself smarter than others at the table but certainly was something fun to think about as a possibility!!). I’m a Virginia Tech graduate and was wonderful to see their research being considered as well. Great post, thank you!
Thanks Robin!
This reminds me of something I heard years ago at a conference. Michael Eisner of Disney was quoted as saying “A strong point of view is worth 80 IQ points around here.” Personally I am very comfortable with having a strong POV in professional settings, when that’s my role. But in small informal groups, I’m much more likely to be a listener and facilitator. I agree that gender socialization has a role in this.
Hi Mary Jo. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Dave
I have the opposite problem, as outlined in “What got you here won’t get you there”. I am so confident I am smarter than all else in the room that I interrupt to get my point across and bully the conversation to the point of being labled an ASS (for us Women it is the dreaded B word). I believe there has to be a happy medium out there…great post.
Thanks for the thoughts and stirring the pot..
LOL. I must be your MALE twin. Loved your post. Thanks for sharing. Dave