a great secret to happiness

~ Live & Learn

To start today on a path toward enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning, consider the possibility that you don’t need to learn anything new. Instead, you may want to unlearn some false lessons that have pervaded the culture over the past few years. The first untruth is that you must know your destination; the second is that a good life is one that minimizes suffering; and the third is that you must know and live your own truth. The Dominican sages and the modern scientists together show that these are all fake news and serious impediments to a happy life.

In their place, I suggest that you start your path of life by repeating each morning these three affirmations:

  1. I do not know what this day will bring, but I will live it the best I can, with an attitude of love and generosity.
  2. I am grateful for the good I experience today, but I do not fear the bad, which is part of being alive and an opportunity for learning and growth.
  3. I do not possess the absolute truth, but today I will seek it with honesty, an open heart, and a spirit of adventure.

…You will notice that all of the modern untruths I’ve identified have one big thing in common: They say you should focus on yourself—your future, your career, your discomfort, your truth. All moral teaching aside, how boring is that? I can think of no better way to miss the awesome majesty of life than to focus egotistically on a psychodrama in which you are the star.

Happy people can zoom out to see and fully enjoy the world around them. But that means standing up to the lie that you are the center of things. That is the essence of humility and a great secret to happiness. We could add one more affirmation to complete the list above: I will focus today on the miraculous world outside myself.

— Arthur C. Brooks, from “Some Dominican Wisdom We Can All Use” (The Atlantic, May 23, 2024). Adapted from the commencement speech delivered on May 19, 2024, at Providence College, a Catholic institution founded by Dominican friars.

30 thoughts on “a great secret to happiness”

      1. I’m very late to the party here. But I’m struggling with that as well. it bothers me more the older I get because I no longer feel immortal as I did in my youth. The Voice inside my head says “if you don’t figure it out now Paul, you never will. And the truth is almost certainly that, indeed, I never will.

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  9. “I can think of no better way to miss the awesome majesty of life than to focus egotistically on a psychodrama in which you are the star”

    May we not miss the majesty. Ever.

    My goal? Always seek out to leave others better than you found them. Certainly exhaust yourself while putting in the effort.

    Love this DK. Thank you.

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  11. I found this so touching. Thanks DK. It is a message for us all, and especially the younger generation who seem to be so unhappy with their lot. When we are no longer the center of our universe we are rarely bored or disillusioned. We realize we are not separate after all and awaken to a world of possibilities without fear.

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  15. My apologies for my pivot into the “adventures of Caleb“ above. I just reread this post and I’m describing (I think) a pretty self-centered Caleb… Which I’m sure he most certainly is not!

    So I will end my own foolish attempt at inserting a quiz show here… which implies that I am putting myself at the center of the universe. And that is absolutely the wrong thing to do… particularly in THIS post which contains GREAT WISDOM! (Thanks for the post Dave, and I apologize for my ramblings).

    1: Early yesterday morning, Caleb and his llama friend were attending the Monaco Grand Prix Formula One race (which was won by Ferrari… Not that it matters).

    Caleb‘s second adventure: two weeks in Paris… Is to attend the French Open tennis tournament (also known as Roland-Garros). It’s likely that he will see Rafa Nadal (the man who has won this tournament more than anyone else…14 times!) play. Nadal, who is coming back after being injured for two years, will be playing his first match today against the number four seed. It will be almost impossible for Nadal to win this tournament, and I would guess that there’s a 70% chance that he will retire if anyone defeats him during the next two weeks. This would be the perfect place for him to retire… At the tournament he loves more than any other.

    As for who the llama is, I won’t even bore you with that other than to say that she is a big fan of sports car racing… just like the Flying Lizard (A.k.a. Paul… the guy who is inappropriately totally focused on himself at the moment.)

    Once again, sorry for the inappropriate intrusion on this most excellent post. The embarrassed lizard is going to go crawl under his rock now.

    Peace.

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