Monday Morning Wake-Up Call

Posted on by Live & Learn

What is happiness, anyway? Does anybody know? It’s taken me 80 years to figure out that it’s not a tranquil, sunlit realm at the top of the ladder you’ve spent your whole life hauling yourself up, rung by rung. It’s more like the thing that Christians call grace: you can’t earn it, you can’t strive for it, it’s not a reward for virtue. It exists all right, it will be given to you, but it’s fluid, it’s evasive, it’s out of reach. It’s something you glimpse in the corner of your eye until one day you’re up to your neck in it. And before you’ve had time to take a big gasp and name it, it’s gone.

So I’m not going to spend what’s left of my life hanging round waiting for it. I’m going to settle for small, random stabs of extreme interestingness – moments of intense awareness of the things I’m about to lose, and of gladness that they exist. Things that remind me of other things. Tiny scenes. Words that people choose, their accidentally biblical turns of phrase. Hand-lettered signs, quotes from books, offhand remarks that make me think of dead people, or of living ones I can no longer stand the sight of. I plan to keep writing them down, praising them, arranging them like stepping stones into the dark. Maybe they’ll lead me somewhere good before I shrivel up and blow away.

— Helen Garner, from “Helen Garner on happiness: ‘It’s taken me 80 years to figure out it’s not a tranquil, sunlit realm’” in the Guardian, February 4, 2023

29 thoughts on “Monday Morning Wake-Up Call”

  2. Why is it that we are not taught from a very young age that life can be very challenging no matter how talented we are, because random problems/roadblocks can occur that are completely beyond our control?

    The valedictorian of my high school class passed away in college because of a health condition that had no cure.

    No one taught me (warned me) in school that hard work does not necessarily guarantee success and happiness. I was an excellent student, and when I left home I had absolutely no concept of the fact that sometimes “s***” happens.

    Only life experience taught me those lessons. I think that’s a flaw in our education system. Now whether young people are capable of understanding these concepts… I honestly don’t know. But I think the education system should “run the experiment.“

    It took decades for me to appreciate “the little miracles“ that occur every day, even when life is really hard.

    I missed decades of “little miracles” because I had to figure this lesson out by myself. I’m glad I finally figured it out! (But I’m sad that I didn’t figure it out far far earlier in life.)

    So right now I am raising my “virtual glass of champagne“ and thanking the universe for “the little miracles“ 🙂

  4. it’s true and it’s untrue – i firmly believe in happiness and i took, at one point in my life, the decision to be happy from then on…. it helped me greatly in my inner development. i have the gift (or, as H. Garner writes, the grace, if you want to call it anything at all) that i appreciate all those bits and pieces of life as tiny parcels of happiness, such as being able to live another day, getting up in the morning, being healthy enough to enjoy a new day, not having to worry where the money for rent, food, and all things comes from, from very small to very tall ‘offerings’ – and all this gives me great happiness. i have my dark and very sad moments (times) too, but i let happiness reign, it’s not as evasive as Helen writes. i do hope i’m not the only one thinking like this, because life truly is too short to be running after ‘stuff’. my dad used to say when i was over-zealous (school, reading too much, ‘wanting to know’ too much): Those who climb the ladder of success highest, fall also the hardest and lowest (or something to that extent)

  6. Also known as the spaces in between…Perhaps it’s the need to use happy as a verb – much like love.. It is what we provide as an overlay – the choices we make that are happifying- or unhappifying for that matter.

  7. There are so many degrees of happiness which is good since we can choose all the time. My first choice is peace which to me is the one kind of happiness that help me the most. Great words of wisdom your post. Well written

  8. Question David: Do you have any problem with people sharing your beautiful photos?

    If you say it’s OK, would you like your name and/or your website included with shared pics?

    No worries if you don’t want us to share!
    Have a great night!
    Paul

          2. Dave, I just took a 10 second look at this website (pexels)… my initial reaction is simply: WOW! WONDERFUL! My personal opinion: Make sure all your followers know this resource exists!!
            Best – Paul

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