Monday Morning Wake-Up Call

Sometimes I don’t know how any of us go on. Sometimes I fear there’s no way our species will survive our own self-destructive choices. Sometimes I feel so I gut punched by the backward deal of the universe — that if you’re really lucky, you get people in your life to love, and then, over time, they will all either leave you or die — that I am angry at life. Actually, not sometimes. Always. I always feel that way. I don’t always actively think about it, but it’s in there.

At the same time, I am always looking for some gratitude, warmth, or hope. I often have to really search for it, but when I see something that makes me feel joy — even just a tiny odd hardly anything — you’re damn right I applaud it. Way to go, adorable cat on a leash! Thank you, server who brought my hot pizza! Kudos, writers of a TV show that made me laugh! Hallelujah, sunshine after a week of storms! Yay for good hair day, yippee for hot coffee, huzzah for an outfit that puts bounce in my step.

If I can scrape up some evidence of a thing made beautifully or a gesture made kindly, then can believe, for a few seconds, that this world is careful and kind. And if I can believe that, I can believe it is safe to let the people I love walk around out there. It’s my own attempt at foresparkling, seeking out hints of good, even planting them myself, so I can believe there’s more good to come. It might all be superstition, just mental magic, but why not try?

So I say yes for things that offer some pleasure. Yes for people who choose to be friendly. Yes for any glimmer of light through all the darkness. I mean that yes. I need it. Seriously.

Mary Laura Philpott, Bomb Shelter: Love, Time, and Other Explosives (Atria Books, April 12, 2022)


Notes: Book Review NY Times: Is it Possible to Body-Block Our Loved Ones from Pain? Alas, No.  The Washington Post: Worry much? You’ll relate to Mary Laura Philpott’s book.

Comments

  1. I love this and especially love the word ‘fore sparkling.’

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Delightful, and I’m with Beth…foresparkling is awesome and just officially entered my vocabulary. 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Foresparkling” – such an evocative word…the corollary to such moments of sheer goodness and wonder? The rage on the other side.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am 100% with her. It’s the reason I end each day with five things I am grateful for. Some days I have to really rack my brain and if one entry is simply being grateful that there was coffee left in the can… then hey, it goes in there.
    I think we shall all be using foresparkling !

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you David and Mary Laura Philpott for giving us FORESPARKLING! As any English major learned, we can foretell via “foreshadowing” but good outcomes always seem present in our human desire for justice and “happily ever after.” Foresparkling could be invaluable. I need help with this… Maybe I’ll script the word and have it in sight.

    Liked by 1 person

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