The Fixer

~ Live & Learn

It doesn’t matter what time of day. My digestif after scrambled eggs at breakfast. A satisfying and necessary fulfiller after lunch. A smooth finisher after dinner. A soothing pre-bed, night time snack. And of course, that something-something between meals.

There it is.

Mint-Chocolate Chip Gelato.

I’m in line at the check-out counter at Palmer’s Market, gripping four (4) cylindrical containers of Talenti Gelato, two pints in each hand. The ice crystals cool the palm of my hand, and I wonder how long it took to ship this gelato from some quaint dairy farm in Southern Italy. A farm that’s been in the same family for hundreds of years. Farm-fresh from cow to these hard plastic cylinders to the freezer at Palmer’s Market, with all of the hand made manufacturing processes in-between. (Gelato, gelato, I find myself repeating gelato and liking it, especially the finish. My lips form an “o” like “o” isn’t this “o” so wonderful).

I move up in line, gently setting the gelatos down on the conveyor. They slide forward.

The checker looks down to see four gelatos and no other groceries. He looks up at me, pauses, and scans the bar code. He’s judging. He’s judging Me. Millennial. Heavily tattoed. Ear-rings (many). We all have our ‘things’ pal.

“Do you want a bag for that?” Was he smirking? Did he really want to say: “Or do you need a hypodermic needle so you can inject that directly into your body fluids?”

I skip the plastic bag, doing my part for the environment. And wonder about genetic code. Mine. How close obsessive compulsive personalities (that would be you) are from that something something else: Prescription drugs. Opioids. Alcohol. Coke.

I read somewhere that using a smaller dish, a cup or a ramekin, instead of a bowl, a teaspoon rather than a tablespoon, aids in portion control. It sure does. They’re smaller – genius!

My teaspoon cuts through the frozen gelato, I lean in on it to tamp it down in the ramekin, confident that this portion will be supersized (but still defined as a smaller portion). I glance at the label: “Our Mediterranean Mint gelato uses real mint leaves steeped for 45 full minutes to get the perfect mint taste that is only amplified by the bittersweet chocolate flecks found throughout this iconic pint.”

Drool pools on my tongue.

I head to the couch. I dip the teaspoon into the gelato. And then, it’s steel to lips to tongue to throat. My tongue desperately searches for a chocolate chip, finds it, and gets out of the way to let the teeth bite down. Boom! This triggers a blend of chocolate, milk, cream, cocoa butter and mint explosion on the taste buds. The Fix is In.

My eyes roll back. And some say there’s no Heaven.

I greedily shovel the rest of the gelato, scraping the ramekin clean, grateful for the wonderful Italian family for producing this wonder.

I head back to the fridge for Round 2, 1/2 of a pint left. I’m curious to find what small town in Italy Talenti is from. I spin the pint around squinting, trying to read the 5 point font.

Unilever Corporation.

Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey.

I re-read the disclosures wondering if it is manufactured in Italy and distributed from New Jersey. Can’t find anything.

I set the ramekin in the dishwasher, no longer feeling that the white ceramic dish is necessary.

The Italian mystique now nicked. Meglio aver poco che niente. “It’s better to have a little than nothing.”

I grab the pint and the teaspoon, head back to the couch and finish it off. And, there I sit pondering big things.

Gelato.

Genetics.

Gluttony.

I love you Unilever.

Notes:

51 thoughts on “The Fixer”

  1. Brilliant pal, simply brilliant.

    In response, I have two phrases for you: ‘Sicilian Pistachio’ and ‘Sea Salt Caramel’ — my husband and my guilty pleasures respectively, courtesy of Talenti. My David actually sat down the other night with a fresh pint and started reading the news, and when I walked in the kitchen a short time later, I heard the unmistakable hollow echo of metal against *empty* plastic. I said, ‘Oh David, you didn’t?!’ to which he replied (after licking his lips), ‘Didn’t what?’

    Vivere senza rimpianti!

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  3. My teenage daughter selected Blue Bunny Limited Edition Cookie Butter ice cream last night. We are in trouble–my daughter and I had some for breakfast (so good with coffee!). At least it’s a limited edition…

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  5. I’m with Ray V. Damn it, DK! I should not have read this right before running to the store. I’ve had 2 little tastes (honest) and am trying to not listen to it calling me by name from the freezer. Next I’ll try Lori’s faves. Vivere senza rimpianti indeed!

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  7. Somehow I knew you were going to ditch the little dish. Only surprise is that you kept the teaspoon and didn’t trade it in for a tablespoon. I can identify with your ice cream fetish. I bought a pint of Haagen Dazs yesterday. Nothing else in my cart. No guilt either. Just anticipation.

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  8. In every country I have my favourites…. Always REAL ITALIAN products, often sold by true Italians…. Oh ci sono così tanti italiani meravigliosi in una ‘ramequin’ per gelato 😉
    Gr8 story-telling!!!!

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  9. “Talenti® first opened as a store-front gelateria in Dallas, TX in 2003, and has since grown into the best-selling packaged gelati in the United States. All Talenti® gelatos and sorbettos are crafted with the same uncompromising commitment to artisanal quality that has distinguished authentic Italian gelato for centuries. The brand offers a uniquely rich experience, using only the finest ingredients – Belgian Chocolate, fresh whole Tahitian vanilla beans from Papua New Guinea, select coconuts from the Philippines, and real Argentine-style dulce de leche are just a few of the many fine ingredients used to create Talenti® gelatos and sorbettos.”

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  10. I’m with Lori, Sicilian Pistachio Talenti is my secret obsession.

    Straight from the container, and can’t stop until there’s no more. I buy one at a time.

    I have an issue, serious issue with anything mint chocolate chip…
    It’s like tooth paste. My father explained my dislike as follows, “When u were young you used to sneak into the kitchen for chocolate after brushing your teeth for bed and mom yelled at you few times.” Hence, me being conditioned against mint/chocolate combo.

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  11. So evocative!! Been There and done that – And it brought to mind college days, Oh, So Long Ago, when i first sat with a buddy and we each finished off Haagen Das pints. Now i’m on the hunt for Talenti here in New Mexico.

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  15. Last summer I had a grocery cart with nothing else but a six pack of Cabernet ( you get a 10% discount on six), and a gallon of chocolate ice cream. I got The Look, from the clerk at register and told her I was making ice cream floats.

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  19. Somehow I missed this post… and yet, four days after my birthday… Hmmm…
    I am SO glad I have never seen this Talenti gelato in my stores. Like you, what’s the point of putting a portion back? The container is open, right? No… I shall make sure mine eyes do not seek out this bucket of sinful delight….

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  21. Mmm, now you have me starving for gelato and it’s not even breakfast time! I have three partially-eaten pints of Talenti in my freezer at the moment, but none of them is mint chocolate chip, even though that’s my favorite flavor. (In my defense, someone brought these to me as a gift, so I had no choice. But I’m glad, because I never would have chosen coconut, and it is surprisingly delicious.) Your description of the sensory experience of mint chocolate chip is spot on!

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