Sonder…

SONDER:

n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.


Quote Source: conflictingheart via That Girl.  Image Source: soulist-aurora via madamescherzo

36 thoughts on “Sonder…”

  1. And given a beginning understanding of that developing realization we hopefully move from meaningless posturing to meaningful performance.

    Just a thought, from Marty to David

  2. I think this is one of my favorites of all time (I know I’ve said that before about posts on your site, so ok, I have a lot of favorites. It doesn’t mean I’m not discerning, it just means you’re that good)..I’m going to re-post it – but it this could have a world audience, I probably wouldn’t feel satisfied.

  3. Like Mimi, I absolutely LOVE this post, David! I’ve often had this feeling when traveling to a new place–I think “Wow! This whole world, with all of these intricate lives, has been chugging along parallel with mine, the joys and sorrows of its inhabitants felt as keenly as my own, and I wasn’t even aware of its existence!”. The idea that I’m just “an extra sipping coffee” in someone else’s play utterly fascinates (and somehow comforts) me, but I had no idea there was a word to describe it. Thank you for enlarging *my* world yet again. Happy Friday! 🙂

    1. I must be too self-absorbed because these thoughts haven’t been rushing through my head until I came across the quote. (I’m attributing this self absorption to the lack of travel to the exciting places that you’ve visited. That’s it. Feel better now.)

  4. ‘as vivid and complex as your own…’ This one definition is a great lesson in mindfulness, perspective, empathy, patience, kindness, ……. and much more. I wonder what lessons your other readers can take from this one definition. Wonderful David.

  5. People say ‘it’s a small world’…not really. It’s a huge world, and we are all small players in it. In each other’s worlds, all of us; extras to their mains, they extras to ours. it’s fascinating, humbling, exciting, and eye opening. and wonderful. thanks

  6. This is TOOOO weird! Today, driving back to our RV park after talking to a Montana farmer while on our holiday here, I said to my husband almost the exact thing that your post is about – how there are people we didn’t even know existed until we met them, be it ever so briefly, who have lives and friends and situations, etc,, just as we do.

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