I got about 30 more summers left.

~ Live & Learn

As Evelyn Couch said to Ninny Threadgoode in Fannie Flagg’s “Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe”: “I’m too young to be old and too old to be young. I just don’t fit anywhere.”

I think about this line often, this feeling of being out of place, particularly in a culture that obsessively glorifies youth and teaches us to view aging as an enemy.

No one really tells us how we’re supposed to age, how much fighting against it and how much acceptance of it is the right balance. No one tells us how we’re supposed to feel when the body grows softer and the hair grayer, how we’re supposed to consider the craping of the skin or the wrinkles on the face that make our smiles feel unfortunate. […]

The actress Jenifer Lewis, appearing on the nationally syndicated radio show “The Breakfast Club,” once remarked: “I’m 61. I got about 30 more summers left.” Since hearing those words, I’ve thought of my own life in that way, in terms of how many summers I might have left. How many more times will I see the leaves sprout and the flowers bloom? How many more times will I spend a day by the pool or enjoy an ice cream on a hot day?

I don’t consider these questions because I’m worried, but because I want to remind myself to relish. Relish every summer day. Stretch them. Fill them with memories. Smile and laugh more. Gather with friends and visit family. Put my feet in the water. Grow things and grill things. I make my summers count by making them beautiful.
I have no intention of raging against my aging. I intend to embrace it, to embrace the muscle aches and the crow’s feet as the price of growing in wisdom and grace; to understand that age is not my body forsaking me but my life rewarding me.

Aging, as I see it, is a gift, and I will receive it with gratitude.

— Charles Blow, from The Beauty of Embracing Aging, (NY Times, June 5, 2024)

25 thoughts on “I got about 30 more summers left.”

  1. Dave… Including today you have seven days until day 1500! 🙂

    I don’t feel like thinking about my age today, regardless of how beautifully someone writes about it and shares the positive aspects of it. Today… for me personally… this type of reading feels a bit like reading the news headlines. I choose to stick my head in the sand… at least for today! 🙂

    Speaking of sand, I’m hanging with Caleb today. We are in Paris and are going to watch both men’s semifinals of the French Open tennis tournament (which is properly called Roland-Garros as mentioned previously.)

    I bought two “1st class tickets which include all the drinks we want”. According to Sports Illustrated I paid $6415 for each of these tickets, so let’s call it $13,000.

    I’m teaching Caleb how to lift his middle toe so he can “flip people the bird“ if he feels like it. I think it’s a good life skill which hopefully one rarely needs.

    I just woke up and these are simply my first random thoughts of the day.

    Time for a couple of more cocktails and some “bird flipping practice”.

    Today… Is a good day!
    TGIF!

    “Hey! Caleb! Don’t point that bird at me!“

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    1. Paul; did I read that correctly : $13k for two tickets to watch the Roland Garros plays? That must be love! All the many years I lived in the Paris Region I‘ve not been once on RG; because to me it has no attraction. But you‘re the second couple to ‚do‘ the French Open and who takes a long vacation and great financial suffering to attend these games. Therefore, who am I to have an opinion? I only wish you the greatest joy doing that and hopefully you can enjoy every moment of it. (Do try not to flip the bird though, the French are an extremely proud and yet delicate people) Thanks for sharing a fantastic comment.

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  2. Such a different, mellower perspective from Charles Blow (who I find a bit strident in his op eds at times)…The whisper that begins to get louder – how many more summers? It’s hard at times to embrace the crepe-y skin, the passing thought that really passed, the inexorable movement of time. It pales quickly when one realizes that this is it – no do-overs – and suddenly it is all okay – this trade off which demands an increase in appreciation and barely a nod to anything less.

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  3. I‘m all with Charles Blow (of whom I never ever heard) in his exposé.
    I think I learned (relatively) early that inner ‚beauty‘ counts for so much more than outer perfection and it freed me endlessly. After today‘s (very) early morning concert I spoke with the excellent pianist and we both agreed that we really ‚must’ enjoy and be thankful (for) every single moment of joy this life offers us. That might be a flower, an excellent wine, a smile on the face of another person or anything else. I know that I won‘t have another 30 years but I intend to make the best of every living moment until I can‘t any longer.

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  7. loved his thoughts on aging and haven’t read his work before. I really don’t want 30 more years but I do want as many quality of life years as will come my way. I do love waking up each day

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  9. One of my favorite movies of all time. Fried Green Tomatoes. “I’m too young to be old and too old to be young. I just don’t fit anywhere.”

    You know my age DK, so no scoffing at this comment as you often like to do. I feel this quote deeply. I feel I am at an invisible age. I just don’t fit. I find it interesting that whatever age you are, you look at those younger and think….they don’t have a clue. I guess if we all knew what we were doing, we would be better about relishing and stretching moments. Little moments that often become BIG moments when we look back.

    “I have no intent on raging against my aging”. Yes.

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