We create worlds. As soon as you decide to project your misery onto someone else, you start building a grudge world. Every time you visit it, you lay another brick. I think some people build grudges up in such detail that their grudge worlds become too big and too real. They stop living in the actual world and begin living full-time in a universe built by resentment and anger. The grudge turns into something dark and obsessive. And when a person confuses a grudge with a real problem, they may start making real-world decisions using grudge-world logic. They think they really hate people they don’t even know. I don’t want to do that. I play around sometimes in these made-up worlds, in which I cast myself as a hero and a snippy person at a party as a villain. The conflict I imagine between us stands in for how mad I am about so many things I can’t do anything about. But I think I would prefer to live here, in reality.
— Mary Laura Philpott, Bomb Shelter: Love, Time, and Other Explosives (Atria Books, April 12, 2022)
Notes:
- Book Review NY Times: Is it Possible to Body-Block Our Loved Ones from Pain? Alas, No. The Washington Post: Worry much? You’ll relate to Mary Laura Philpott’s book.
- Portrait: Yahoo News
Live & Learn 
“And when a person confuses a grudge with a real problem, they may start making real-world decisions using grudge-world logic.” So interesting.
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That’s Interesting!
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Lots of food for thought there. I think I’ll analyze my grumblings more before I open my mouth from now on.
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Laughing. Oh so me too!
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Methinks there are many who confuse grudges with real problems. Like words says above… I shall analyze my grumblings a tad more from now on!
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Good idea!
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Uh huh…. is there a hidden message in this response? 😉
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Laughing. Absolutely not!
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Phew! 😉
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it is definitely a lot lighter when not carrying grudges. plus the come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and don’t really fit well anywhere.
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So true Beth….
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