When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness. I’m indebted to the Jungian therapist James Hollis for the insight that major personal decisions should be made not by asking, “Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?”
— Oliver Burkeman, Oliver Burkeman’s last column: the eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life (The Guardian, Sept 4, 2020)
Notes:
Offhand, w/o any reflection, I’d say I wd choose happiness….
LikeLiked by 1 person
hmmmmmm
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the idea of more of a conscious shift to looking through this lens, my guess is it would become natural and unconscious over time which is wonderful
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thoughtful. With you Beth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This hits home as I ponder retirement. Though I must say that COVID snacking has greatly contributed to my enlargement. Does that count?
LikeLiked by 4 people
Tee hee! Mine too! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
It ALL counts Sharon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hooray! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not sure about the word enlarge … but when I make a life decision I pause and notice if my heart expands or contracts. Perhaps expansive is a better word for me.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Like that perspective Val.
LikeLiked by 1 person
In a similar vein, I think ‘enlighten’ rather than enlarge, though I love Val’s idea of expansion.😊 As for happy, the older I get, the more I realize that it’s a slippery construct. I think we get the message that if we’re not happy *all the time,* there must be something wrong, and quite honestly, I don’t think that’s true. But that’s a mind meld for another day…😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
So agree with you, Lori!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lovely.
And wise.
I have been teaching myself to expand it beyond the ‘me’ centricity of something like, “Will this enlarge me?” I like to use the phrase, “Will this create better?” For me and the world — because to be good for me it must create better for ‘we’.
LikeLiked by 2 people
With you Louise. Thoughtful. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such a good question to ask.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Isn’t it though.
LikeLiked by 1 person