Ray Takes The Proust Questionnaire

  1. What is your current state of mind?  Restless.
  2. What is your favorite journey? A 3-week mission trip to Tanzania in 2007. My favorite Journey song however is Wheel in the Sky.
  3. What is your idea of perfect happiness? On the back porch with a book, a glass of bourbon, a cigar and a dog or two at my feet
  4. What is your greatest fear?  Something happening to our daughters and now granddaughter.
  5. What is your most marked characteristic?  Being comfortable in a room full of strangers.
  6. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Speaking before thinking
  7. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Not following up after promising to do so.
  8. What is your greatest extravagance? Fountain pens.
  9. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Tolerance. Relativism is helping destroy our society.
  10. On what occasion do you lie?  I have gotten better at telling the truth as I get older since I don’t get in trouble as much.
  11. Dislike most about your appearance? My three chins and four waists.
  12. Which living person do you most despise? I don’t hate/despise anyone, but would like to have a word or two in private with a few representatives from California.
  13. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?  I polled my family and was advised: “Drive Gently”, “Swell”, “Roger that”.
  14. What is your greatest regret? At times, being selfish in my marriage.
  15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? My wife and daughters, but I think our granddaughter is positioning to take over.
  16. When and where were you happiest? Vacations at the beach.
  17. Which talent would you most like to have? To be able to sing in addition to playing the guitar. Played in a band for years, but can’t sing a note.
  18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? See #6 above.
  19. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? To go back in time and get a do-over at being a better husband/father.
  20. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Helping raise three daughters into productive adulthood without getting pregnant or needing to be bailed out of jail.
  21. What is your most treasured possession? A photograph, taken on Memorial Day, 1976 of three men who had a profound impact on my understanding of life and real friendship. Background can be found here: A Difficult Task Indeed.
  22. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Feeling worthless and unloved
  23. Where would you like to live? The beach. Any beach.
  24. What is your favorite occupation? As crazy as it may sound, I loved being a funeral director for the 30+ years I worked in that world.
  25. What is the quality you most like in a man? My, isn’t that a bit personal?
  26. What is the quality you most like in a woman? I’ll defer to my wife of 33 years.
  27. What do you most value in your friends?  Rigorous Honesty. . . absence of any intent to deceive.
  28. Who are your favorite writers?  Michael D. O’Brien and NYTs Best Selling Author, Andra Watkins
  29. Who is your favorite hero of fiction? John Galt
  30. What is it that you most dislike? People who pretend to like you, but sabotage you at every opportunity.
  31. Who are your heroes in real life? Don’t have any
  32. How would you like to die? In my sleep, after a great dinner out.
  33. If you were to die and come back, what do you think it would be? A dog living with one of our daughters.
  34. What is your motto? Life is short, dead is for a very long time.
  35. Bonus Question: How did you find my blog? I’m not sure how I found DK’s blog, but my WordPress stats page indicates that I began following it on April 22, 2012. 
  36. Bonus QuestionWhy do you keep coming back to this Blog? Dk’s blog is like a box of chocolates. You never know what to expect each morning (when I read blogs) and you are never disappointed.


  • Photo of Ray Visotski and his beautiful Grandaughter Adeline Louise.
  • Ray is a virtual friend and faithful follower (as I am of his blog) and he kindly agreed to share his responses to the Proust Questionnaire.  Ray’s Blog can be found at Mitigating Chaos.
  • See prior Proust Questionnaires.
  • The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature.  (Source: Vanity Fair)


  1. I’m afraid I don’t know Ray very well. I respect your transparency in your replies.

    Adeline is beyond adorable!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ray is all of his responses. Also, he has one of my favorite qualities. You start a small talk conversation with him (a stranger) at a civic club meeting and the next thing you know you’ve told him you want to write memoir. Next thing you know he says let me read what you have so far and then says…go for it, start blogging. This was a bunch of years ago. The quality he omitted…he is always an interested listener in a conversation. This is a rare quality. Most people only fake interest.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I had the chance to meet Ray in person a few weeks ago. It was a wonderful get together, but these responses provide insight that you can’t get in an hour long sit-down. Thank you for including Ray in your series, it’s nice to get to know him a little bit better.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a wonderful interview, Ray! We’ve not “known” each other long but what I have learned so far is pretty darn great!
    Three daughters and now a grand-daughter (plus a wife) – you are sadly outnumbered my friend… And, like my father did, I bet you are beyond happy about it!

    Thanks for another fantastic share, David!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Ray, I just have to pop over for a moment and give you
    a big hug for your replies to 14/15/19
    a big balloon with a smiley for 20
    a bunch of flowers for 25, which you will pass on to your wife in 26
    a Christmas cookie (baked not by myself but by one of my family who all – but me – have gone way beyond their ‘Xmas duties’ to spoil us with countless sorts of home baked cookies and Stollen (NOT with marzipan but plenty of nuts, orange/lemon peals, raisins, very little sugar, so I consider it as a health product!!!!) for 36
    and a giant THANK YOU for your honest replies to all of them…..

    A special treat (bone with some meat on it) for wishing to come back as a dog of one of your daughters….. You may add my name to them, as I would like to come back as MY dog too if I were to choose! We are one big pack of dog lovers here 🙂

    Oh, I nearly forgot the most important one: Congratulations to escape with your senses and mind intact from living with four women in your household….. My little brother would probably sound very differently. He grew up with three sisters, but as the Baby Prince we thought it was our right and duty to spoil him rottenly…. 😉

    It’s a privilege and gift to know you better and it’s beyond any hopes I could have had! But I do understand Dave’s query with regards to your profession as per his exchange on December 29th! We can all live in hope though, can’t we?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love your answers, ray. especially about the people who mean the most to you and I agree the lying becomes less important with time and age –

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Welcome to the Proust Posse here at the Kanigan Collective, Ray! Enjoyed reading your responses. Your love for family and community shines through in every line. Enjoy that beautiful new grand baby!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. For all my faults I’m grateful I haven’t taken on “Roger that”… yet.
    Great list Ray!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. While late to this party, I finally read (and much enjoyed) your answers, Ray. I feel like I know you a bit better now. Of course, I appreciate the mention.

    Liked by 1 person


  1. […] Ray Takes The Proust Questionaire […]

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