Wednesday mornings are reserved for my selections of fellow bloggers’ inspiring posts of the week. Not today. I’ve been traveling. By air. And I have some short stories to tell. Sarah’s blog post title nails the theme of this post: Holy Sh*t! Airplane Manners People. Here are the top 9 situations that I encountered in the past month:
- Female passenger carries on an oversize bag. She is “caught” at the gate and asked to check bag. She then holds up the check-in line and commences to yank stuff out of her bag in order for it to fit in the sizing container. She is red faced and berating the check-in attendant. (Human? Animal? or Android?)
- Passenger is boarding. Coffee in one hand. Carry-on luggage in other. Another bag over shoulder. He dumps the entire cup of coffee on seat (not his seat) – – and keeps walking to the back of the plane to find his seat. Makes no attempt to clean it up or advise flight attendant. (Yo Mamma share with you the old proverb? Do unto others…)
- Man clipping his fingernails at 35000 feet. (There are no words…)
- Child playing video games with no volume button or headphones. For a two hour flight. BEEP! BONG! BANG! HONK! HONK! HONK! Parent sitting next to him oblivious to impact. (Aretha Franklin fires it up…All I want you to do for me…Is give me some respect…R-E-S-P-E-C-T…Find out what it means to me…R-E-S-P-E-C-T)
- Passenger behind me is kicking my seat. Repeatedly. Then getting up and down and yanking on back of my seat. (Knock Knock? Who’s There? Pulverize. Pulverize Who? Pulverize you if you ever do that again.)
- 1.5 hour flight. Small commuter airplane. No. Better described as a Tube. The kind you have to bend from the waist down to find your seat. Father struggles to carry on his travel bags and bags of food for the family. Burritos. Kids are grabbing arm rests, seat in front, seat pocket and anything and everything within reach of their cheesy greasy paws. Air quality 30 minutes later…not Priceless. (“Blazing Saddles” comes to mind)
- It’s allergy season. Lost count the number of uncovered sneezes, coughs AND nose pulls. (Cover your face People!)
- Passenger removes running shoes and socks. (I’ll stop there.)
- Passengers (several) who harass flight attendants for more overhead space, for being placed in middle seat, for lousy food. (People. Cut them some slack!)
That’s my nine. You have a 10th of your own?
Related Post: (Very) little things, but maddening…
Image Credit & Related Post: Thank you Sarah. See her post @ Holy Sh*t! Airplane Manners People
Live & Learn 
That is one gruelling month of travel, David. I feel for you. My number 10: no, can’t think of any to top yours.
Moral: stay local!
LikeLike
Laughing. Thanks Michael. I’m trying!
LikeLike
It’s hard to beat any reference to “Blazing Saddles” at 5:15 in the morning..;-) You could add the people who lay claim to both arm rests, leaving you with none if you happen to have the misfortune of being in the middle seat…an insult in and of itself.
LikeLike
Ahhhhh, I missed that one. Perhaps because it happens ALL the time. Excellent add Mimi. That should have been #1.
LikeLike
A personal favorite is the individual who just HAS to talk and talk and talk–can’t be shut down by a book, earbuds, feigned sleep, the hairy eyeball, nothing. He/she has a story to tell (usually something gripping like how she spent 5 hrs in line at Toys r Us to get that special thingamajig for Tommy, ’cause he’s just so precious and EVERY kid has to have one, right?!) I have contemplated evil thoughts in these dark hours. There, I said it… 😉
LikeLike
Ahhhhhh YES! I can’t believe I missed this one. This would be high on the list.
LikeLike
I feel your pain. I don’t fly a lot but when I do (and will next week) I do my best to be prepared. I’ve had lovely experiences sitting next to wonderful parents of small children and been sat next to the onion eating-bourbon slugging neanderthal who leaned too close for comfort, ugh.
Flying gives us a real glimpse into our humanity – good, bad, stinky, clean, polite, rude, gracious, indifferent, kind and entitled. Some days are adventures, others … not so much!
Love the list 🙂
MJ
LikeLike
“Onion Eating-bourbon slugging neanderthal” – nope, can’t say that I’ve had this experience but the aromatic visual is quite stunning. 🙂 Thanks for sharing MJ. It certainly does give us a glimpse into humanity.
LikeLike
oh — and it lingered! It got even better when he transformed into an emotional puddle and told me his deepest secrets. Yikes
🙂 MJ
LikeLike
Oh boy!
LikeLike
10. As told to me by my friend, a flight attendant. FA coming down aisle is punched in the butt by a traveler. Whirls around. Passenger says, Yeah, it was me, and I’ll do it again. And then does. Epilogue: passenger is hauled off plane by air marshals and barred for life.
LikeLike
Wow. Unbelievable. At least in this case, justice was done. Thanks for sharing Lynne. Shocking…
LikeLike
Yes. Now, everyone acts like they are in their living rooms, and in their head. In french” “Apres moi le deluge”
LikeLike
LAUGHING. So true Michael
LikeLike
Oh, my gosh! Some of that is just plain disgusting! Really?K#* Fortunately, I’ve had limited travel so far this year…but some coming up…hope I don’t find a #10 to add to your list! Maybe next time you’ll find 9 things that touched you during your travels 🙂
LikeLike
🙂 You are right. You have inspired me write a counter. Stay tuned Vicki…thanks for the inspiration.
LikeLike
I LOVE this post! This is my experience almost every time I fly!
LikeLike
🙂 You too?! Oh, no.
LikeLike
David, lol!!!! I’m sorry this all made your blood pressure rise when it actually caused quite a bit of laughter here. “Man clipping his fingernails at 35000 feet. (There are no words…)” – this one totally cracked me up, just to think of it and then imagine the thoughts running through your mind. I hardly ever have to fly and I never have to fly for work. Maybe I’d rather be flying with all those crazy people than working from home the way that I do, with no escape whatsoever. Hope your day gets better. Thanks for the laugh. Now I’ll go back to your next post, which I read first…and remind myself that you found a bit of peace.
LikeLike
:), thanks Carol….enjoy being on the ground. Far more pleasurable these days.
LikeLike
I absolutely hate flying – you sum it up well, but I guess you don’t have kids. Toughest job in the worlt to take kids on a plane – cut parents with kids some slack!
LikeLike
Don’t get me wrong…there are more behaved kids (and parents) than what I represented above. And having flown with my kids, job 1 was to keep them under control and respectful of other passengers.
LikeLike
I agree. You are clearly very aware of the people around you when you travel…and isn’t it ironic that we always meet the worst people when we’r eon a plane!
LikeLike
yes, in close claustrophobic quarters!
LikeLike
Great post! All nine are very representative, here’s my 10th from last weeks long-haul intercontinental flights: your neighbor on the 9 h flight has broken a bottle of cheap cologne and used his clothes to soak it all up…I couldn’t smell anything else for hours after the flight.
LikeLike
Wow! That would be horrible. Can’t say that I’ve encountered this experience…thanks for sharing.
LikeLike
OMG!!! My mother used to say, “it takes all kinds to make a world, but some we could do without.”
LikeLike
🙂 You Mother was a smart Woman Darlene.
LikeLike