Year: 2011

Wednesday for Women…

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Two worthy articles for women leaders this week…

HBR Blog Network: Collaboration’s Hidden Tax on Women’s Careers:

“In our coaching sessions, we’ve worked with countless women who are exceptionally collaborative leaders. They have a talent for establishing buy-in. Still, the art of consensus can sometimes slow women down and diminish their leadership credibility. Over the past decade, we’ve interviewed over 1,700 people to find out how women can be more successful at the highest levels in leadership. One thing we’ve heard again and again is that collaboration can be a double-edged sword in terms of being perceived as powerful.”

Collaboration can go wrong for women when they: (1) Ask for permission, (2) appear indecisive, (3) fail to assert a strong point of view.

Forbes: Five Essential Leadership Lessons For Younger Women

How can women own their careers? These five tactics create success in any field: (1) Put yourself in a position to win, (2) Ask for what you need to be successful, (3) Be persistent, (4) Have courage, (5) Aim for consistency.

Career Coaching: Courageous Conversations or What?

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Randy Conley had an excellent post last week titled:  Courageous Career Coaching – Ten Questions Trusted Leaders Aren’t Afraid to Ask.   You’ve likely seen the research on the current state of employee engagement – ugly.  (See my earlier L.L.L. post for more.)  Randy’s firm has identified that “job/career growth is one of the critical factors that create engaged and passionate employees, and it’s important for leaders to know that employees believe it’s the primary responsibility of their direct manager…”  Randy suggests the quickest way to figure out what employees want and need to be engaged and achieve career growth – is to ASK THEM.  And do so regularly – – not only during Annual Review season or when your employee has one foot out the door. 

Yet Randy explains, and he’s right…that many of us are “often afraid to engage in career development discussions because we feel unprepared to respond to the employees’ desires, or even worse, powerless to do anything about it due to organizational constraints. Yet in order to establish a high level of trust with those you lead, it’s critical your employees know you’re genuinely interested in, and committed to, their career growth.”

Randy Conley’s 10 Courageous Career Coaching Questions

  1. Why do you stay?
  2. What might lure you away?
  3. What did you like about your prior job (where you stayed several years)? What kept you there?
  4. Are you being ____ (challenged, recognized, trained, given feedback) enough for now?
  5. What would make your life here easier?
  6. Are things as you expected they would be?
  7. What do you want to be doing 5 years from now?
  8. What would we need to do to keep you here?
  9. What is most energizing about your work?
  10. What about your job makes you want to take a day off?

I can’t imagine rattling off these questions before you’ve built a relationship of trust or you’ll be climbing The Wall of Wary.  Yet what’s Plan B?  Do we roll the dice and hope it all somehow works out for the best –  or do we dive into the deep end and have a courageous conversation. (Yes, rhetorical question).   Imagine for a moment that you are on the receiving end of these questions from your current boss.  Your reaction?  He/she cares. 

Next steps?  Let’s go…

Source: Image: Photobucket

Sunday Morning: “Learning to Slow Down”

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This excellent post titled “Learning to Slow Down” by Secondstoryman resonated with me this Sunday morning.

When we rush through our days and lives, we fail to notice the simple beauty of living.

Throughout our lives, we are taught to value speed and getting things done quickly. We learn that doing is more valuable than merely being, and that making the most of life is a matter of forging ahead at a hurried pace. Yet as we lurch forward in search of some elusive sense of fulfillment, we find ourselves feeling increasingly harried and disconnected. More importantly, we fail to notice the simple beauty of living. When we learn to slow down, we rediscover the significance of seemingly inconsequential aspects of life. Mealtimes become meditative celebrations of nourishment. A job well-done becomes a source of profound pleasure, no matter what the nature of our labors. In essence, we give ourselves the gift of time—time to indulge our curiosity, to enjoy the moment, to appreciate worldly wonders, to sit and think, to connect with others, and to explore our inner landscapes more fully.

A life savored slowly need not be passive, inefficient, or slothful. Conducting ourselves at a slower pace enables us to be selective in how we spend our time and to fully appreciate each passing moment. Slowness can even be a boon in situations that seem to demand haste. When we pace ourselves for even a few moments as we address urgent matters, we can center ourselves before moving ahead with our plans. Embracing simplicity allows us to gradually purge from our lives those commitments and activities that do not benefit us in some way. The extra time we consequently gain can seem like vast, empty stretches of wasted potential. But as we learn to slow down, we soon realize that eliminating unnecessary rapidity from our experiences allows us to fill that time in a constructive, fulfilling, and agreeable way. We can relish our morning rituals, linger over quality time with loved ones, immerse ourselves wholeheartedly in our work, and take advantage of opportunities to nurture ourselves every single day.

You may find it challenging to avoid giving in to the temptation to rush, particularly if you have acclimated to a world of split-second communication, cell phones, email and overflowing agendas. Yet the sense of continuous accomplishment you lose when you slow down will quickly be replaced by feelings of magnificent contentment. Your relaxed tempo will open your mind and heart to deeper levels of awareness that help you discover the true gloriousness of being alive.

Sources: Secondstoryman – “Learning to Slow Down” and image via CreatingAQuietMind

Leadership Is a Gift Given by Those Who Follow

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Grant McCracken (MIT Research Affiliate) wrote this post in this week’s HBR Blog Network on General Mark Welsh who addresses the US Air Force Academy.  It’s a 45 minute speech but HANG IN THERE UNTIL THE END.  Must-watch-TV for leaders.  Funny.  Inspiring.  Incredibly moving.  Best leadership video that I’ve had the good fortune to watch.

Here is General Mark Welsh, Commander of U.S. Air Forces in Europe, speaking after lunch at the Air Force Academy a few days ago.  The video is 50 minutes long, but I encourage you to watch the whole thing. It may be the finest piece of public speaking you will hear this year. The general is everything we want a speaker to be —companionable, funny, illuminating, truth-telling, and spellbinding.  He’s also emotionally forthcoming. A new age warrior? Or have soldiers always talked like this? If General Welsh doesn’t move you to tears several times, it may be time to check with your cardiologist.  But this is more than public speaking. It is an act of leadership. The general goes beyond Hollywood heroism. He is brutally candid about war and completely unforgiving in what he demands of his audience. Does the senior manager still level with his or her audience in this way?

Welsh’s biggest theme? Leadership as an act of service. As the General says, “Leadership is a gift. It’s given by those who follow. You have to be worthy of it.”  Words for every leader to live by.

Source: HBR Blog Network – Leadership is a Gift By Those Who Follow

If you were pushed into a cold swimming pool, would you remember the shock?

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A colleague shared a terrific post called “Brutal Honesty”by Michael Arrington who is the founder of TechCrunch, Silicon Valley’s leading blog on tech start-ups.  He opens by sharing a quote from Vinod Khosla (a successful Venture capitalist): “We prefer brutal honesty to hypocritical politeness.”  And he closes his post with his keen preference for:

“Direct, brutal, no frills, awesome, wonderful, honesty. Versus being smile f***ked by someone who’s hypocritically polite. I’ll take the honesty any day for the win.”
“The Similarity Bias” is in full effect here – I’m naturally drawn to this communication style and admire the courage of those that live by it.  Yet, I’ve learned the hard way, honesty has it’s place…brutal honesty leaves a trail of scorched earth behind you.  Kate Nasser, a people skills coach, in her excellent post “Bluntness Bombs Out for 5 Reasons” explains why blunt, brutal honesty fails:
  1. No Warm-Up. Picture your bluntness as very cold water. If we push someone into a cold swimming pool, they remember the shock. If we let them wade in, they adjust to the temperature and can function. Thus if we want people to function and use our message, we shouldn’t shock them with bluntness.
  2. Punching Dulls the Brain. Punching bags are not known for their performance. They hang and swing. If we are being blunt to effect a change, those we verbally punch may swing away from us yet they are not likely to understand or change behavior.
  3. Bluntness builds barriers. Communication is for connection. Bluntness can create a busy signal — a barrier — between communicator and listener. If someone isn’t listening, your message bombs out.
  4. Bluntness undermines respect and credibility. The strength of the message is weakened by the rudeness of the approach. Who is going to respect and believe the message delivered by a blunt creton?
  5. Bluntness breaks bonds. Unless we each live as hermits, we interact with people to survive and thrive. Many times the same people more than once. Bluntness may get our words out but bombs out by breaking the bonds with those around us. It may even create vengeful feelings and instigate a war (verbal or hidden).

Many people resort to bluntness, out of frustration, when diplomatic honesty hasn’t worked. Others simply lose patience with those of less intelligence.  Yet when we reach the end of the rope, why cut it with bluntness? Unless we need to use bluntness to save a life or prevent death, hold on to the rope!  Take a moment and tap intellect, logic, and smarts to find a way to communicate with honesty and respect.

Sources: Uncrunched – “Brutal Honesty”.  Portions reprinted with permission of Kate Nasser, The People-Skills Coach(TM): “Bluntness Bombs Out for 5 Reasons.  Image – Best Attraction Marketing Tips