Late afternoon meeting. Location: Cross town.
83°F. Mid August. Sticky. Cotton dress shirt is clinging to my chest.
Take a Cab? Rachel suggests it’s 15 minutes point to point on foot. Cab? A crap shoot in cross town traffic.
I hoof it down 47th. Building construction has cut the sidewalk in half. 2 lanes, with a solid lane divider. No passing due to heavy oncoming traffic.
I’m closing the gap with a middle aged man in front of me. His head is down tapping on smartphone. My pace slows to crawl. I cut the gap to a few feet.
I try to pass on his right. Not enough room. I slow and trail behind him.
What’s the rush, right? Breathe a little.
He hasn’t lifted his head. Inconsiderate SOB is still tapping out texts. Oblivious to the growing conga line behind him.
I attempt to pass on left. He leans left. I re-grip the handle on my bag and prepare to side-step him on the right.
As I begin to pass, my shoe catches the back of his shoe, his heal crumbles, he stumbles.
I look back and see that’s he’s upright. Good.
“So Sorry!”
“Sorry? Sorry? You’ve ruined my shoe!”
The Walk Sign flashes and signals Don’t Walk. I stop and he advances. Along with the gathering conga line.
“I said I’m sorry”
“Do you see my shoe?” He’s walking on top of the back of his shoe.
I’m rifling through my options:
- Option A: Get in his grill. Level of immediate satisfaction: HIGH. Downside? A potential bad outcome. Side Benefit: Provide ample entertainment to the crowd.
- Option B: Apologize for the third time. Level of immediate satisfaction: ZERO. Probability: LOW.
- Option B+: Apologize for the third time + offer a monetary concession. Level of immediate satisfaction: NEGATIVE. Probability: Grrrrrrr.
- Option C: Walk away. Take the high road. Level of immediate satisfaction: LOW. A low fat, low calorie ice cream bar.
The crowd continues to build. I look down. He’s fussing with the back of his shoe. The light is about to change. He’s still mouthing off, and approaches…
Years ago
when I became tough as a nail
I became a nail~ Jim Harrison & Ted Kooser, Braided Creek: A Conversation in Poetry
Photograph by Vitaliy Piltser
You left us hanging like this?? Let me guess. You’re writing about it already tonight so you probably didn’t take option A. Options B and B+ have zero and negative LOS respectively. What’s left? Option C. (With note to self. Justification.) ??
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smart deductive reasoning from my management consultant friend. Laughing. Still laughing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cliffhangers do have the advantage of leaving it to the readers imagination……… I imagine you gettin’ all up in his grill…… 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
This coming from one who knows all about gettin’ all up in the grill… 🙂
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
And then????
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. 🙂
LikeLike
Never heard of “get in his grill” before, is that a local phrase?
How did you managed to make his heal (heel?) “crumble” by catching it with your toe? Maybe “catch” is a euphemism for “smash into with extra high velocity”? Sounds like it needed replacing anyway, you were just the catalyst.
Did you not consider Option D – stamp on his toe and run?
LikeLiked by 2 people
STILL LAUGHING. Fact that you don’t know what “getting in his grill means” places you as a child born in the Depression. Get with it.
“Small with high velocity”
LAUGHING.
I guess it was about “that”
I wanted to say “Man Up”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Born in the Depression? Me? Which one?
I bet you went with Option D+. Blame the teenager next to you.
Knowing which battles to fight is something I am continuing to work on: how about you, mister?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Laughing. I fight them all. Every one of them. And therein lies the problem.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And…..?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. 🙂
LikeLike
i walked away….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Of course you did. And you being the attractive woman, he would have been fawning all over you.
LikeLike
Hogging the lane – then a rear end fender fender. To be expected in heavy traffic. Texting-while-walking? Inexcusable. Even the tourists have better sense than that…although they have been known to come to a dead stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take a photo and cause a frustrating pileup…
I usually do a light brush-by with an apologetic ” ‘scuse me ” which rates a dark look but not much else. I have been threatened once or twice though with speeding and taken my foot off the accelerator for a bit out of guilt.
I say just loosen the laces, straighten out the dent, and move on with an apology and a handshake…. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
“which rates a dark look” – “rear end fender bender” – LOVE this comment Jeff. Still smiling… hitting the love button.
LikeLike
Keep up with the flow of traffic…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You mean like on the highway with the cars and cabs? Might have been a good option. Jump on road.
LikeLike
Think about ignoring the Don’t Walk sign to get away from this guy?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Option D. Damn, missed that one Lulu!
LikeLike
Denied a denouement? DK, you’re toying with us! I’m gonna go with ‘C’, though, as it involved a metaphorical ice cream, and we know how it is with you and ice cream. It’s your kryptonite….
LikeLike
denouement |ˌdāno͞oˈmäN| noun
the final part of a play, movie, or narrative in which the strands of the plot are drawn together and matters are explained or resolved.
Had to look it up. And plan to use it somewhere sometime and I’ll be sure to give you full credit.
As to my kryptonite, you certainly nailed that!
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
Was the ice cream good?… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awful Val!
LikeLike
Definitely sounds like a ploy on his part to get you to pay for a new pair of shoes that were already broken.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s right Sarah! 🙂
LikeLike
“Do you see my shoe?” He’s walking on top of the back of his shoe. – Well, what would YOU have done if you had to walk on top of the back of your shoe now??? Lol. I’m guessing you RAN across the street when the light changed. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. You’re taking his side? And here I thought you would have always “had my back.” Nice.
LikeLike
His shoe was wrecked when he left home that morning and he was looking for someone to blame 🙂 MJ
LikeLike
Great story. Its taken me years to get to where I can “C”, but on occasion I still enjoy twisting the knife a little.
The poem, so very apropos.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiling. Thank you for the kind words.
LikeLike