Wednesday for Women…”You are a complete package, as is, right now.”

ForbesWoman: Seven Actions For Becoming More Like Yourself in 2012.

A reader shared this article with me.  I found it to be very good but I’d be curious to get your point of view.  I have shared some of the excerpts below however I would encourage you to read the entire article (including reader comments) to get the full and complete context of the author’s point of view.

  • “No matter if you’re household executives or house keepers, freelancers or entrepreneurs, cubicle expats or c-suite brainiacs, or a micro business owner raising goats and selling vegetables in the market in Kenya, we all reach at least one pivot point in our lives in which we question who we are and what our lives are missing.  How well we navigate this passage depends on our willingness to give ourselves what we need. To pause and reinvent. To open our mouths and ask for what we want. To recognize that everything is a negotiation and we’ve been doing it since we were born.”
  • “But because we’ve been socialized to be nice and accommodating and selfless and giving; and because we’ve been trained to modulate our voices (read suppress) lest we be found bitchy, strident, bossy or mannish; because men approach negotiation factually and women approach it emotionally, we do our best to avoid it all together. We resist learning and training in the subject of negotiation because we compare ourselves to the way men do things and tell ourselves we can’t compete.”
  • What this all means is that we have to start where we are and become more like ourselves, not less. We have to know what we value, and in turn we must learn to bend toward our intrinsic values in all relationships—work, family, community, neighbors, etc. As we begin to consciously live from our value(s) we naturally begin to make choices that express our value in the world, and in the work we do everyday. We’ve built the scaffolding for asking for what we want, and we’re beginning to notice negotiation opportunities everywhere.
  • “…as you unravel the who am I now question, it might be a good idea to let yourself off the hook for landing here, right now, with a big question mark on your forehead. Give yourself a break for having a philosophical moment, a pragmatic pause. Forgive yourself for dithering in quicksand. You didn’t get here because of some fundamental flaw in your nature. You got here because you’re awake, and listening, and ready to shift the balance in your life. Your whole life.

Here are the Seven Actions for Becoming More Like Yourself in 2012:

  • 1) Create 5 Daily Practices.  One for self nourishment; one business or career-enhancing strategy; one thing you want to learn, one behavior you want to replace with another, better one; and one core value you’ll be mindful of daily to underpin your agreements in 2012.
  • 2) Say no to most everything that doesn’t connect to #1.
  • 3) Ask for help. As soon as you hit a roadblock, or ask yourself the question that begins with, “How do I…” ask for help. Get direction. Hire a coach. Learn the grammar of negotiation so you can understand and strategically repeat what you’re already good at: having conversations that lead to agreement. You know where to go for that. Start a mastermind group for the purpose of putting #1 in action. (Here’s a great guide to getting started.)
  • 4) Implement daily productivity habits to keep your practices front and center. You need to keep your busyness temperature low, and your delegating and collaborating temperature high. If you need a resource for that, my absolute favorite productivity Diva is Sara Caputo of Radiant Organizing and she has a fabulous ebook worth every penny.
  • 5) Choose the life you have. The only way to keep your agreements with yourself and make major shifts is to choose your imperfections and flaws—and choose to regard them as highly as you do your values and strengths.

You are a complete package, as is, right now. Be more like yourself in 2012, and you’ll like yourself more.

Other Articles of Interest:

HBR: Are You Stuck in a Girl’s Club?

Image: JessicaHagy – thisisindexed.com

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