cutlery – Live & Learn

Ouch.
“Pause“…for what? Keep it comin’.
“Do not like“…what? Can’t think of anything.
Where’s the sign for “Ready for Third Plate“?
Where’s the sign for “Ready for Dessert“?
What about the sign “Don’t look too closely. I had to loosen my belt to make room.”

“…in restaurants they like non-verbal clues. A sign language of sorts. The waiter or waitress reads the secret code spelled out through your dirty utensils and napkin. If the waiter doesn’t happen to see you licking your plate (which is the International sign of “Yup … thems was good eatin’. I’m done!“) how’s he supposed to know if you’re finished eating? He knows by where you’ve placed your cutlery. Honestly, he does…(other rules to note):

Your napkin should be half heartedly folded to the left of your plate.
Do NOT rest the cutlery on the table.
Do NOT cross the cutlery over each other in an X.
Do NOT put your napkin on your plate.
Do NOT perfectly refold your napkin.
Do NOT put your napkin on your chair.
Do NOT fold your napkin into the shape of a swan or a dead chicken and then leave the restaurant wearing it as a hat.”