Monday. 5:55 a.m. I-95 S in morning drive to work. I was moving too fast to snap a shot so you’re stuck with that photo of I-95, but it’s North-bound, mid-afternoon, in bumper to bumper traffic several weeks earlier.
Back to Monday morning, and this commuter’s meditation. The hum of tire rotation on pavement. A/C chilling the cabin. Instrumental music from Iceland’s greatest export, Ólafur Arnalds.
12 minutes from the office.
Pre-rush hour traffic flowing smoothly. 75 mph, and ~4 car lengths behind the car in front. I shift in seat, unable to find sweet spot to ease the lower back pain. It could be worse. Tune ends, playlist skips to next Arnalds’ track. Rob Roberge: “Words can intrude when the body wants to take over. Lyrics make you think—music helps you just feel.”
Then…tail lights from car in front flicker once. Then twice. Then solid red. Slowing in speed lane on I-95? Amygdala on high alert. I tap the brakes, eyes scan the roadway. And there she comes: Bambi. No. No. No. She’s looking to cross 6 lanes of highway, 3 lanes separated by 5-foot concrete divider.
I lift my right hand the from gear stick, ready to shield myself as she comes through the windshield. My left clenches the steering wheel. And then super-slo-mo.
She dodges the car in front.
There’s a soft thump on my passenger side rear fender.
I see her clear the divider with a foot to spare…and can’t bear to watch any longer to see if she cleared oncoming traffic heading North.
Yanko Flores (The Morning Show): “There is nothing you can do to stop the wind from blowing. So what can you do…? You just keep on moving. And you brace yourself for the shitstorm.”
I turn my attention back to I-95. I find both hands clutching the steering wheel, and can’t seem to release.
I keep on moving…
I was reading this with my heart in my mouth…can imagine how tightly you gripped that steering wheel…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes. And she’s still there with me. Frantic. Scurrying between fast moving traffic.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I bet…
LikeLiked by 1 person
from reading this, so well written from the heart, I felt what this must have been like for you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Beth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
that would have gotten my heart racing a bit. would have been a good excuse to stop at Dunkin Donuts to get something to calm myself down…
I’m also glad you opted not to take any photos while driving 75 miles per hour…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh. Me stop at Dunkin Donuts. I would never leave!
LikeLiked by 2 people
well at least not until your heart rate is back to normal… 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
True!
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOVE Ólafur Arnalds. ………. Glad you ae safe!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too! Thanks Catharine!
LikeLike
I have a Sentra! I can’t take the traffic sh*storm anymore without clenching everything that CAN contract throughout the many lanes, on-ramps, sudden crossovers for Exits, semi’s all around, everyone doing 75 minimum. With or without the heart-stopping Bambi, it’s all crazy-making, now. Stay safe, DK (and everyone)!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Laughing. It is crazy-land!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You had such a Heart-stopping commute…I wonder how many times she’s navigated the 95? I remember when the tree hit you on the 95…safe passage from here on in…for you and the doe…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep. Great memory Christie. No shortage of stories / content on 95.
LikeLike
Awful when that happens. Hard to put it out of your head. Twenty years later I still remember the buck that ran into my truck even though I was just crawling along on black ice. It didn’t make it. Sorry I don’t have the magic answer for how to forget.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, so different to shake…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t know lockdown was officially over for you! OMG!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep! 3 days a week!
LikeLiked by 1 person
When does he plan to travel again? You travel to Plano every week or so?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good memory. Dallas. Next month, first trip back I think.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Who do you work for? It seems like you fly there every other week.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A NY Bank. I used to fly there 1-2x month to start up a new operation but it has since settled.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok, that’s cool. That was a lot of travel. Now you just drive to the city?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Drive to Purchase, NY. Yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
Oh no!! This hurts … “I see her clear the divider with a foot to spare…and can’t bear to watch any longer to see if she cleared oncoming traffic heading North.”
LikeLike
Such a terrible experience and absolutely nothing you could do.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agree Darlene.
LikeLike
Reading this with my eyes squeezed shut and my stomach in my mouth…. I’m gonna have nightmares on your behalf! The horror of this…
not even Arnalds can help us here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He didn’t!!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whoa… that had to rattle you for a good long while… I shall choose to believe she made it. Bloody hell…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too Dale. Me too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those dear dear deer… so agile and fast and terrified all in one.
Glad you didn’t have a big encounter — hope she made it. And Arnalds never fails to calm my jagged nerves.
And… the other day, while getting back in my car at the grocery store, a young buck went racing past the front of my vehicle. I turned to the guy getting in the car beside me and both our mouths were open wide. We looked at each other with that “Did you just see what I saw?” look, smiled and got into our cars, and drove away. The young buck scampered off through the parking lot, away from the river, somewhere into the neighbourhood of this community at the edge of the inner city. Wild.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. That must have been Something Louise.
LikeLike
If everything is a reflection of us, could this deer be a reflection of our busy minds ha!! It certainly threw some adrenaline into your morning commute 😩
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now THIS is Something to think about. Wow. Thanks Karen.
LikeLike
Somehow missed this post over the weekend, pal. Sounds like a heartstopper. I was driving down State Road 70 the other day, very busy road here, and spied a doe and a fawn running alongside the road, periodically glancing sideways as if contemplating when best to cross. I contemplated stopping my car and getting out to shoo them back into the woods. So heart wrenching to watch these beautiful creatures try to navigate safely through the teaming hordes who have encroached upon their home…. 😦 Glad that you both escaped injury.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Lori. I just can’t stomach animals and freeways. Gets me in my core. Especially now with brutal temperatures. Animals moving into suburbs and cities. Sad, all of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
right there with you…my heart aches…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Vicki…hope you are doing well.
LikeLike
Ólafur Arnalds is touring this summer, perhaps in a town near you 🙂 ///gosh I didn’t recall that you were still going into city to the office last June?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I need to find out!!!!
LikeLike