186 Days.
You know the drill.
Consecutive days.
5 miles from Home to Cove Island Park and back. Sort of.
Last week, on a bitter cold and wet morning, and pressed for time, I jumped in the car, and drove to the park. To keep the streak alive.
Heater blowing on my feet. Wind gusts and rain battering the car. And there I was, sheltered and toasty. Protected from all that God could throw at me that morning. Not sure why God was on my mind, but C.S. Lewis called it: “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.“
And so here we are. This morning. 186 consecutive days. I’m migrating, with the birds. But instead of Southward bound, it’s a downward spiral on the Sedentary Bus.
It was Running (for years).
Then Walking for less than a year.
Now Sitting. Just can’t get it going.
I drive to the Park. I take one slow walk around the loop. And make my way to the Point.
Sunrise is at 6:30 a.m. It’s 6:13 a.m.
I’m restless. (Permanent Condition). 17 min to sun up. What to do? What to do?
I notice a bench a few yards in front of me. I can feel tension, in my bones, in the flesh, in my mind — it flashes No. I think back to Morning Walk. See, But Can’t Sit. Man, you have all sorts of problems. Just sit on it.
I approach the bench. There is a copper plate affixed In Memoriam…
I hadn’t ever noticed.
I scan the area. Bench here. Bench there. Benches everywhere. I never noticed.
I walk by each reading the inscriptions. I find myself drawn in. I walk slowly from one to the next.
- In Loving Memory. Vita & Gus. Andover – Where the Weeping Willow Stood.
- In Loving Memory. “DeeDee”. Wife, Mother, Sister. Grandmother. A friend to all she met. 1946-2016.
- In Loving Memory. Bob. Husband, Dad, Papa, Brother, Uncle, Cousin, Friend. 1942-2019.
- In Loving Memory. Dominick and Mary. 2011.
- In Memory of Debbie. 1976-2008., Love You Forever…
- In Memory of Joseph. 1913-2004.
- In Loving Memory of Peter. 1947-2011. A man who actively enjoyed all seasons of life at Cove Island Park.
- In Loving Memory. “Bim”. 1928-2014.
- In Loving Memory of Raymond. 1932-2007. Raymond’s roots ran deep. Deeply loved. Loved deeply.
- Beloved Grandson. Christopher. 1996-2014.
- Inhale the Beauty. Joan and Bill.
- In Loving Memory of Edwin & Margaret.
- Mary Pauline. 1943-2015. In our hearts forever. Your loving husband and family.
- In Loving Memory of Joseph. “Fish On.”
- In Loving Memory of Connie. September 1998
- Diane. 1946-2014. My Wife – My Love – My Companion in Life. I Miss You. Gordon.
- John. 1950-2017. Devoted Husband, loving father
- In Loving Memory of Melvin. He brought so much joy to so many.
- Louise’s Bench. (No dates. Just Louise’s Bench)
- In Loving Memory of Timothy and Grace.
- Our Sweet Angel. Maria. You lifted our spirts with Love, Laughter, Music and Dance. 1973-2015.
- Raymond. 1943-2018. The best things in life are the ones you love.
- In loving memory of Joseph “Little Joe”. Known for his love of family friends, Harleys, Corvettes and sunny days at the beach, Remember me, when you look into the seas…and there I’ll be. 1948-2015
- In Loving Memory of Jennifer. Your beautiful smile remains forever in our hearts
I look at my watch, it’s 6:29, a minute from sunrise. I walk to the last bench. The gulls are now quiet, they too wait for the Sun in our moment of silence.
I’m reading the last, Bench #25…I brush my fingers over the metal plate. Over the letters making up soft, and then the letters breeze, and then gentle and tide and kind and heart. And then my index finger skips over the letters making up Love always…
I brush away a tear, and then another…
Soft is the breeze, gentle is the tide, kind is the heart…
Notes:
- Photo: DK, Daybreak. 6:35 am. November 7, 2020. Cove Island Park. Stamford, CT.
- Post inspired by Rachel Carson from The Sense of Wonder. “It is not half so important to know as to feel. If facts are the seeds that later produce knowledge and wisdom, then the emotions and the impressions of the senses are the fertile soil in which the seeds must grow.”
Wow. ❤ You met so many people today. And shared them with us. Thank you.
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So interesting you say that Carol. Exactly how I felt.
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Thank you very much.
When I became a young widow at 52- somehow I came across your blog. I have treasured all your posts and have read several of the books you quote from; this post today has touched me deeply.
Sorrow is a common thread all humans experience and thanks for sharing these benches that I wish I could sit on and say a prayer to my celestial loved ones.
They certainly make profound toasts and I shall share the toast to Mattthew tonight as I raise my glass among treasured friends
Thank you
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Hi Roberta. Thank you so much for sharing. I was moved by all of “this” this morning and now touched very much by your comment. Thank you.
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I was 50 when I lost my husband and I am going to do the same to Mick tonight. Thank you, Roberta
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Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
Benches …. they always tell a story!!
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The photo you used in your post makes this post more interesting
http://www.sudarshanpaliwal.com
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Thank you Sudarshan
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Always a pleasure
I am your new follower keep bringing this kind of post
You may also support me by following 😀
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Oh, DK…Pardon my unsolicited two cents. I would gently challenge your interpretation of downward spiral. You are migrating to seeing and feeling on a much deeper level and if it is a spiral, it is taking you from restlessness to calm and consolation. Thanks for sharing this journey. I feel better for the chance to sit with you. MA
>
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Laughing. I love this interpretation. So good. I just needed to change my perspective!!! Thanks Mary Ann
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We have a park with many similar benches…it’s known as church park…I rarely see humans sitting on them…I read them too and acknowledge they crossed the river…appreciated this post 🙏 we had some stellar sunrises this week…I love the time right after dark…sending you joy 💫 hedy
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I too love the time just between dark and light. Colors are spectacular!
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Enjoy David sending snow ❄️💫 hoping you’re feeling some peace
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Hedy. Thanks. You keep the snow and send more peace.
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Fair enough ☮️💙
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Sounds like a beautiful morning! The photos just get better and better.
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It was! Thank you!
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This was a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. PS I wiped away more than a few tears tool
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Thank you.
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If tears are the words the heart has no words to express, my tears are falling in gratitude for the beauty you created in the world this morning.
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Mine too Louise. Thank you.
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beautiful, David; now I’ve got tears as well…
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Thank you Jim
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I love how the Universe works. Here you are wondering how you can stop for a minute. She understands you, so she has given you a way to slow down to an almost stop. A lingering almost stop. Next, she’ll find a way to actually get you to sit. For more than the time it takes to snap the perfect pic (which have been spectacular)
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Beautifully stated Dale. Yes.
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She sees you are opening up to the idea…. 🙂
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So happy you can See it.
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I can, my friend.
I think this crazy pandemic has been beneficial for you 🙂
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Do fully agree with that Dale.
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Silver linings, they call them. I always look for ’em. Helps to bring balance when you think things are not.
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My Virtual Angel.
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🙂
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So many sad stories in the world. We should make the best of the time we have.
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And that is the punch line.
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It’s amazing what we discover when we slow and see. A Beautiful journey. But omg did you sit? 😏
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No. Must be saving it for the right time.
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The trouble is we think we have time… 🙏🏻
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Buddha! Oh Boy.
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You just saw that message on all the benches! 🤫
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❤
It’s a miracle how birds all become silent when the sun is about to rise.
Thank you, for taking us along!
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They do. Thanks!!
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Thank you for sharing such an experience in an Honoring & Heartfelt expression…
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all heart
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I’m so glad I read this today instead of yesterday – my heart was on a swing and I couldn’t slow its momentum. How loved these people are; how appropriate that you should meet them on a day which you approached with a certain characteristic self-effacement-that-borders-on-the-punitive. How perfect a moment to capture the senses and give yourself permission not to sit.
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Beautifully stated Mimi. Yes.
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Beautiful poignant post.
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Thank you Jean.
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Walk in Silence is conversations with Nature . Beautiful post with lots of Human Emotions . love all
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Thank you Ram!
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Sometimes the weight of the world is very much on one’s shoulders. Seems you discovered the very balm for your spirit, David. By the way – what a beautiful photo! The violet shades in the water are so complemetary to the sky. Yee-haw!
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Thank you!!! I have Bela.
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Oh Dear David! Just saw this post (Friday the 13th!) and appreciate how you are leading us to feel the inordinate grief in a shared and bearable way. We all need this more as we’re learning how dire the pandemic has been and is now increasing exponentially. Our capacity for empathy must increase if we’re to find wholeness midst this devastation. Tears! tears mean the heart is opening and yearns for more expression. My heart goes out to the young widows who shared, to you for your younger brother, to young 31 year old Timothy Matthews and beautiful Bobby Greer, the son of my roommate from college who has a bench overlooking a beautiful field.
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Beautiful thoughts Valerie. Thank you for sharing and for your kindness.
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Beautiful ❤
Thank you, David
Vicky
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Thank you Vicky.
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