Jenny Offill describes her mood…”she’s tired all the time now…she can feel how slow she is walking, as if the air itself is something to be reckoned with.” I read the passage a week ago. And Mind keeps flipping it back.
Sleep app congratulates me this morning on seven consecutive days of hitting sleep targets. Grooving a routine. And it’s working. I’m sleeping.
But, tired all the time.
Lower Manhattan this morning.
40+ F, but don’t get caught out without a coat. Frigid winds blow through the tunnels between the hulking skyscrapers.
Colleagues take the subway to a client meeting: It’s only two stops!
I let them go. I need to walk. Shoulder stiff. Neck aches. Need to be alone.
A lifetime, swift walker. But not lately. Like a glider banking energy, I’m waiting for a tail wind, or even a gust.
Not my photo above, I couldn’t muster up my own shot. I pause to watch the tourists take their shots with the Bull. In all the years, this is the first time you’ve stopped (paused) to admire him. You are a beaut Mr. Bull.
Bullfighter or the Bull? Red cape, the muleta. God Save the Bull.
Three minutes to destination.
I take a take breath and step into the building.
Game time.
Photo: Alexander Nilssen, Bull of Wall Street
We’re tired because we are carrying baggage that we no longer need. Let go. Be light!🦋🌈🦋🌈
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Oh, to be YOU!
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I am you. The only difference is I decided life’s to short to carry it anymore 🧳 🧳🧳🧳🧳👜💼👜🎒💼👜
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You are SOMETHING! Send me a bottle of you.
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Get you own!! 🙃🥰
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Laughing. That’s exactly the words I use. We have to be blood relatives.
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We probably are!😂
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Congrats on reaching your sleep target for seven days in a row! I am in awe. I stopped wearing my Fitbit at night because I don’t need the reminder that I have achieved it ONCE in January…
As for still being tired… I think Karen said it… we gotta let go of whatever is taking too much space. Plus, unlike kids, it takes us a LOOOOOOOOONG time to catch up on lost sleep.
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It really does take a long time for us to catch up on lost sleep. I have noticed that Dale.
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At least you have started to and I’m happy for that.
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Thank you.
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I’ve read recently that so many of us are tired all the time not because we do too much, but because we do too little of what sparks a light in us.
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Oh, I love this. Thanks Angeline.
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Maybe there is something wrong with your sleep if it’s not refreshing. Perhaps sleep apnea. I had a sleep study and even though I didn’t really have sleep apnea, I wasn’t having REMS sleep. When I slept on my stomach, I did a lot better. So, I trained myself to sleep on my stomach. And when I retired, things got even better!
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Sleep on Stomach. Hmmmm. That will take considerable retraining. But I must give it a shot. Thank you Linnea.
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Hmmm …. I’m with Karen. Sounds like you are carrying a burden that is dragging you down…. or you need to lighten up your diet. Whatever it is, I’m sure you will figure it out 💛
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I’m working the Diet. Aggressively. The Rest, needs a plan and execution. 😬
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Find that balance that feels right but doesn’t add tension or self blame. There is a middle ground David 💛
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Thank you Val. I need to “Find My Middle Ground” 🙂
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Maybe in time you’ll get back your energy and be like the bull. He looks to be strong and lively. Walking was probably a good choice.
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That’s the Plan Anneli. Thank you.
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”she’s tired all the time now…she can feel how slow she is walking, as if the air itself is something to be reckoned with.” there is struggle, in gaining stamina, one needs to listen to the signals coming from deep within…sometimes purely physical, sometimes a component of physical brought on by emotional overwhelm, directions to explore, choices to makes…one foot forward, then another, sometimes a short walk in brisk weather can awaken a purpose…strength of breath in and out, renews… “gift of breath” progressing… lightening the focus…rising Spirit…
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Oh, I like this Christie. You and Patchett.
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Dave, Just wondering since your reply is following my post…did you mean to say Kiki or me?
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I’m sorry Christie. I have corrected.
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Thanks…Hope you day went well…I ate vanilla ice cream with homemade choc. sauce sprinkled with coconut…and I though oh, DK would love a bowl of this!
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He would!
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The body had all sorts of means to deal with what it couldn’t understand.
~ Ann Patchett, The Dutch House: A Novel (Harper; September 24, 2019)
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take the heavy load off, let the load that makes you feel light, on –
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Yes!
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Dave, so many wonderful comments, you don’t need mine…. just follow up at least some of them and you’ll be getting better. BUT you’re also doing fine on so many levels, already- considering everything….
I’m all with the writer, did another day of “wahaaayyyy” too much, too long, too everything yesterday (incl 700+km car trip in dismal weather, but luckily HH drove 500+km of them), and sometimes it’s not a matter of choice, but often it is. Well done for walking.
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Too much of everything. I think that is squarely on point Kiki. Thank you.
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Also, really sorry for long comment….. 😉🤔
It’s because I care for you.
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Oh, I know Kiki. No need to apologize.
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It’s that time of the year in the northern hemisphere.
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Ok. I’m going with that!👍
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Our 15 year old is feeling the same. And it’s happening for the third year in a row, that she be tired or lacking energy all the time.
Us too, goes without saying!
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Well that’s good. I’m feeling what a 15 year is feeling. I’ll take that!
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Tend to agree with Karen and others here, pal. You’ve had a lot weighing on your heart of late, and that will take the bounce out of anyone’s step. That said, good on you for walking…I find that fresh air and some good, heart thumping exercise is always good for recalibration of mood. Sending soothing energy your way….☺️
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Agree Lori. Thank you.
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Sometimes the matador, some days the bull…
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Truth!
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“the air itself is something to be reckoned with” means something quite different from the air through those Manhattan side street wind tunnels. Just had a phone chat with a friend recovering from surgery and she can’t believe she’s still tired all the time. Told her many are tired and simply knowing they need to take care of themselves. You’ve had a piece of your heart torn recently, so please, be tender. Sleeping is so-o good, especially for you. Go in peace!
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Awwww. Thanks for sharing Valerie. I think you are right with your medicine. All the best to your Friend for a swift recovery.
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Grief weighs heavy on the tender heart.
Be gentle with yourself David. There is much to sleep on. Hugs
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It does Louise. It does. Thank you.
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I’m shocked that that was the first time you stopped to take a look at the Bull. It is a wonderful sculpture, not only in an artistic way, but in what it represents. Glad you are getting some sleep; if it becomes a habit, you might have to change the title of your blog… 🙂
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So me too Jim. I can’t believe I hadn’t stopped, no less touched him. Yes, sleep situation is much improving. I may have to look at the title.
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I tell my husband all the time to walk and drink water (those two things can cure most ailments, in my opinion!). Of course, getting enough sleep also is important. I’m adding my kudos to you for walking and sleeping. I hope it continues.
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Thank you Carolann. I’m on a mission to take in more of both.
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Noticed this in the weekly Paris Review email…an interview with Jenny Offill on “Learning to Die”… timing interesting for me as my father in law has been put into Palliative Care…he is expected to released out of hospital today…into extensive care… in preparation of dying…such a word “preparation” depending on the season of Life…”preparation” has different connotations…I think of how one prepares for the birth of a child, prepares their child for the first day of school, prepares for a wedding, prepares for a trip, how a farmer, prepares for the growing season, prepares for harvest time and how much within the Gift of Life’s Journey has Growth,Gifted us with Challenges, With Life’s lessons, With Love, With Joy and In Sorrow…the Sorrow stays for a time…Recognition of Gratefulness Happens… for having had this Remarkable Person in Our Life, for There Was and IS Love…///
Now after reading this interview…noting the working title “Learning to Die” and the published title “Weather” I think about How Much Stimulus of Incoming “Traffic” Enters Our Mind, continually traveling in a round about, until it is processed and then on to an off ramp, onto an On ramp, merging into the Fast Lane, Flowing along the straight ahead road…eventually climbing in the curves, then dropping into the Peaceful Valley and perhaps further onto a two lane road that maunders along a creek, ending where the water mingles with the Ocean…the Ocean of Life.
https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2020/02/14/learning-to-die-an-interview-with-jenny-offill/?utm_source=The+Paris+Review+Newsletter&utm_campaign=f7273216a7-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_Weekly_12072018_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_35491ea532-f7273216a7-55911641&mc_cid=f7273216a7&mc_eid=ba3fe2bc07
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Thank you for sharing this Christie.
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