“By any reasonable standard, I have won life’s lottery. I grew up with two loving parents in a peaceful house. I’ve spent my whole career doing work that thrills me—writing for newspapers and magazines. I married the best woman I’ve ever known, Alix Felsing, and I love her more now than when my heart first tumbled for her. We’re blessed with strong families and a deep bench of friends. Our lives are full of music and laughter. I wouldn’t swap with anyone.
Except on those mornings when I wake up and take a long, naked look in the mirror…”
Read on @ The Weight I Carry by The Atlantic · January 10, 2019)
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Live & Learn 
LOL. Know the feeling. Solution — get rid of the mirrors.
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Ha ha! You know what? I wrote a post about a woman I know who owns no mirrors. She says why look at herself and judge negatively when her husband tells her all the time she is beautiful?
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Now that’s Something!
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That’s one solution Darlene. That problem is the cruelty that one experiences outside the house.
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Oh how we need to learn to love ourselves, our bodies and the transformations they go through over time… she says as she studiously avoids all mirrors whilst naked…
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I found this article so powerful, and so painful. He has far more willpower than I could ever imagine.
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That was my first thought as well. To negate all that is beautiful in his life by looking in the mirror…
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And yes, Dale. I agree.
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DK, this was happening to me. Then I realised I wasn’t looking as much as I once did at my reflection because of the negative feedback from ME. So, I determined to change this!
I now say: “Hello gorgeous” when I catch, purposefully or not, my reflection. The result is I generally end up laughing at myself – a much better reaction!!! 🙂
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Nicely repositioned Carolyn. Yes!
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I so hear ya, I also hit the jackpot in the life lottery but no one looks good naked
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Ha. True!
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We are so hard on our outer shell, including me!! but then I remember all those who are lying paralysed or disabled somewhere in a bed, wishing for a chance or a miracle that they could have an able body like me, and It quickly changes my whinging to gratefulness for what I have in this moment! 🙏🏻💕
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Omg. So true Karen.
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I agree there is too much emphasis on our physical appearances and too much pressure to attain/maintain a certain body type (especially for women). Fat shaming is cruel and damaging. I think people have a right to feel beautiful and worthy no matter what they weigh. However, morbid obesity is unhealthy and deadly. We can’t sugar coat that fact. And, as a society, we have to do something about it. We have to somehow reframe our approach to food and exercise, starting with young children. We can teach children from a very young age that they are worthy of eating healthy food and make sure all communities have access to abundant, fresh, healthy food through community gardening, farmers’ markets, etc. Instead of using exercise as punishment (“you’re late to practice, run 5 laps”), we can reframe the message (running/playing is fun; when you follow the rules, you can participate). We have to prioritize funding in schools and demand that regular, consistent phys ed programs exist in every school. The same goes for school meal programs. And we have to educate people. Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move program and the White House garden are great examples of how to do this (I don’t know if they still exist). The new food labels that go into effect this year can go a long way towards helping people make better food choices. We are all worthy of drinking clean water, breathing clean air, eating healthy, fresh food, and running and playing. It’s our right.
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Carolann, thanks for taking the time to share. So thoughtful.
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Someone recently said to me, “You don’t see what I see when I look at you, do you?” My reply: “I don’t but oh how I wish I saw myself through your eyes. I’d never worry about eating that extra chocolate again!” (I am a work in progress, and this post is a brilliant reminder to be a bit gentler on my self-reflection). Thank you, David. Cher xo
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Love this Cher! Thank you.
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Thank YOU, David!!
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My son sent me this article – which prompted a lengthy and poignant discussion about how we judge and assume, the consequences of our biases known and implicit…The writer is so painfully articulate, it brought us to a place we needed to be. Go easy on the assumptions about others – they’re bad for your health
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So true on the assumptions Mimi. Everyone is struggling with something.
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When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees.
And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever.
And you look at the tree and you allow it. You appreciate it. You see why it is the way it is.
You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree.
The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying “You’re too this, or I’m too this.”
That judging mind comes in.
And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.
Ram Dass, On Self-Judgment
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Gnarly old bent oaks are my favorites … 😉
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Willows are on my short list as are cedars, aspen and birch.
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Perfect – just perfect
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