Let’s take inventory.
Four Falls.
The heals of both hands scraped raw, instruments used to break each fall.
A right knee bruise. Severity? Somewhere on a continuum between Deep and below the surface. We’ll know for sure in the morning.
We are a self-correcting, self-learning being, right? Otherwise we wouldn’t be standing, breathing, and reading this, Right?
Adam, in his hunt for food for Eve and the kids, after falling face-first the first time, said, hmmmm, that didn’t feel good. That didn’t work out. Let’s not do that again.
24° F. It’s the first snow of the season and I’m prepping.
Underwear. Thermal Underwear. Thermal Socks. Thermal undershirt. Wicking overshirt. Heavy Down coat. Tuke. Gloves. Fanny Pack with bottle of water, smartphone and headphones.
I catch a glimpse of this package in the mirror before stepping into the garage. Holy Sh*t. Sasquatch.
I pull on Ugg Boots, two pound leg weights strapped on each foot. Who runs in snow in Ugg Boots?
First fall.
A flat surface, I’m caught by surprise. An ice patch. The legs fly out. I fall heavily on left side, air gushes out of the belly, which is still jiggling. I roll on my back. Where’s my smartphone? Right pocket please. Right.
Second fall.
A steep incline. Uggs are crampon-less. Right leg slides out. Left leg follows, and a tumble down a short embankment. I’m covered in a mixture of snow, leaves and dirt. Camouflage. Military drills. No, more like Carl Spackler the greenskeeper on Caddyshack: “They’re like the Viet-Cong…Varmint-Cong. So you have to fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that’s all she wrote.”
Third fall.
A steep decline. My right toe, the UGG-Cap, clips a stone, the left foot desperately stretches to find a firm footing – and instead, crashes through the soft snow and lands on several inches of wet leaves. Think three meter springboard. I’m airborne – hands are out to brace impact – lightly child, lightly – stones find the fatty flesh of the palms of both hands.
It’s the Last Mile, short of the mileage target planned for the morning run, but it’s over and I’m looping back to the car. My head is down, my eyes are locked on the snow covered trail, hopelessly searching for protruding dangers. Sweat spills out from under the Tuke – the rad is overheating from the heavy clothing, the heavy boots.
The Final fall.
I see the rock, a threatening hump covered in snow. I lift my right foot to clear it – I fail. You’ve got to be f**king kidding me. I crumple on the path at the entrance of the park.
“Hey, do you need some help?”
I look up, grimacing: “No thanks. I’m OK.” What kind of ass*ole can’t clear a 4″ stone. I let him pass and let the humiliation burn off before getting up.
I’m standing in the shower, steam fills the bath, and the eyes are closed…and I squeeze the right foot, the left foot, and then each leg, the arms and then the chest. Body aches feel good.
Gotta get this body rested.
We’re going at it again tomorrow.
Nap time.
10,236 steps.
Notes:
- Photo: Donata Wenders (in the snow)
- Related Posts: Running Series
Ouch!! Over 10k in these conditions deserves to be multiplied by at least a factor of 3. I’m off to scrape off the snow from the car in snow filled Albany NY. Steps will be in the mall today. I’m hoping it’s safer!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ouch is right. Albany! I bet you have some snow, a lot of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bbbrrrr …. but warming up tomorrow so we can get away.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I get it. Most of my serious running was when we lived in the Pocono Mountains in the early 90’s. Asics has yet to invent a good shoe for running on ice. BTW..as Harry Callahan would say, “A good man always knows his limitations”. Just sayin’, friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiling. A smart man knows his limitations. Trying to source the wisdom. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You might change your mind by tomorrow morning!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Might!
LikeLiked by 1 person
With this flu if I get to 500 steps I’ll be happy.
I’m jealous.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh No! The stepper is laid up. Hope you get well soon!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
And, at 3am this morning, I went down and Susan went down with flu at 7am. ☹️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so sorry to hear this David 😦
I wish you both a speedy recovery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a good thing the snow that made you fall is there to soften the blow (a little bit anyway).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now there’s a glass half-full!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Quite unlike me, isn’t it?! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shocking actually. I was destabilized for a moment. So out of character. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOLOL!
LikeLike
Did you really have to go running – in Uggs, let alone with weights strapped on? Really? Take some Advil while you’re at it…
LikeLiked by 1 person
What is the alternative? I’m all ears. The Advil, is a good suggestion. Also, the novocaine crap in the can that you can spray and freeze to numb the pain.
LikeLike
Um…stay inside when the roads are slick and then icy?
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is a viable option. Yes.
LikeLike
One word for ya, pal: yaktrax! https://www.yaktrax.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can run in these??!? Wow, tripping here could result in some serious bodily damage.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, they’re awesome–they make ya feel like a billy goat, you’re so sure-footed. And they make a model specifically for running…
LikeLiked by 1 person
OK Lori. I have to ask. You can run in these things? That has to be another 6 oz on each leg.
LikeLike
9.7-11.7 oz., actually. But trust me, it’s a hell of a lot easier running in these than in Uggs…. And they’ll fit in your stocking (in case Santa asks….)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another pound on each foot. Wow. I’m still not hearing an answer as to whether you ran in them. Feel like I’m being set up for a Candid Camera Moment
LikeLiked by 1 person
Laughing…. Running is one form of exercise I *don’t* partake of…KILLS my knees…but I do walk briskly in the yaktrax and they’re the nuts…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah Yes, so now the truth comes out….
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve noticed people wearing the yaktrax to walk in the ice…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I get the walking part. Running, I’m not so sure. 🙂
LikeLike
P.S. Hate it that you’re playin’ hurt, but, as always, LOVED running with ya! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! Oh, I get it. Totally.
LikeLike
Ouch! I do get chuckle picturing you in all those clothes though! ❤
Diana xo
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! Me too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nope. Stayed in, looking out the window at the layer of ice. Cooking. Watching old movies. Exercise another day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smart. A lot of wisdom In that Van.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We’re all getting older. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ain’t that the truth. 🙂
LikeLike
Here’s a thought for your Christmas gift! “A treadmill” we just bought one and the whole family is loving it. We are running as fast or slow as we need, up the hills, down the hills all with a touch of a button ha! All in the comfort of wonderful cool air conditioning during the sweltering heat! Are you getting the visual here? No falls or wounds. But then again, what a boring story my running would make? Yes, on that thought Mr K, please keep running in the snow, you def will keep us entertained during this crazy season and I love your determination and writing!! Rest well 🏋🏋
LikeLiked by 1 person
Where’s the fun in that!?!? Indoor running! Smiling. Thanks Karen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry you fell…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Christie. But it comes with the territory. 🙂
LikeLike
seems like it’s time for some trail running shoes; or perhaps a pair of snowshoes…
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s exactly what I need Jim. A pair of wide snowshoes to lift up and put down around all of the trail obstacles. Laughing.
LikeLike
I’m sorry, but I laughed out loud. Several times. Arnicare cream is good for bruises. Don’t know if it helps bruised egos….
LikeLiked by 1 person
And here comes the Home Team peanut gallery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
and tomorrow, another day, another rock. another chance to get up again.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s it…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel sooo guilty. First, I didn’t run today and have no excuse. 78 degrees and sunny. Second, I smiled. OK, I laughed. But just so you know, it was your writing and not the various hurts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
78? Shame on you Helen. I’m rolling around on tundra with scarred frostbitten fingers and you’re laying on couch laughing. There is no excuse.
LikeLike
THAT was hard. Okay, I will show sympathy and say I’m happy you didn’t break the navicular bone in your hand when you braced for the fall. It’s the slowest (6+ months) healing bone in the body. Hubby fell on snow covered ice years ago and he was lucky, cast from elbow to knuckles only for 5 months.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Laughing. Stomach hurts now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You KNOW I was teasing. Of course you know that. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes…of course I did ☃️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, shit.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I remember running in snowshoes, back in the day. Finally settled on x/c skis, which worked, so long as there was snow and not only ice. The weather is changing; part of why we moved to Hawaii. I need to be active, but prefer cycling over battering my lower body’s joints. Hiking is great, but I still love the wind whistling by as I ride my bike, plugged into a good audiobook 😉 Aloha, David. And good luck with ‘all that.’ 😉 Happy Holidays to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Running in snowshoes. Wow Bela. Impressive. Not sure I would have coordination to keep legs apart. Happy Holidays!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s your fault for wearing Ugg boots…have you ever seen the videos? Too much cruelty for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG no. And I can just imagine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great writing though David…as usual. Don’t watch the videos, just know that it’s horrifyingly sad. If you give up wearing Ugg boots, you’ll save a bit of suffering in the world and you’ll be guaranteed not to slip and fall. 🙂 Merry Christmas, my friend!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Carol. I won’t watch the videos but not sure I can ever put on a pair of Ugg boots again without thinking dark thoughts. Merry Christmas Carol. Dave
LikeLiked by 1 person