I don’t like Neighbor.

~ Live & Learn
black and white, portrait

I was rattled.
My Fingers are on the keyboard.

“N-e-i-h-b-o-r”
Then…
“N-i-e-h-b-o-r”
Autocorrect is humming in the background but finding nothing.
Where the H*ll are you?
Red dots underscore the word and shout: “WRONG“!
I push back from my desk. I stop. I inhale.

You used to be an Automaton. Letters used to spill out, from head to fingers to screen. Letters all beautifully lined up in single file, in correct order.  It’s ok. You’re just tired. You didn’t get much sleep. You’re alright. It will be ok.  

I go at it again.
“N-i-e-b-o-r”
Red dots return.
No sign of Autocorrect.
My pulse quickens.
The cursor flashes at the end of the Word. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing.
Red dots underscore word. Red dots. Blood platelets. Stop the bleeding.

I pause, and rub my eyes.

I can’t spell N-i-e-b-o-r.  I’ve been so dependent on Autocorrect, I’m losing my functioning capability.

I push back from my desk.
I stare at the screen.
The Cursor is flashing. Taunting. Try it again Mr. Automaton. Try it again.

I can’t do it. The machine has me rattled. The letters are now a jumble in my head.
I swing over to Google. And BING, up pops N-E-I-G-H-B-O-R.
I look at the letter line-up. Of course!

My Fingers are resting on the keyboard.
And brush tapping the keys without typing.
And then I go.
And I type:

A-T-R-O-P-H-Y.
A-T-R-O-P-H-I-E-S.
A-T-R-O-P-H-I-E-D.
A-T-R-O-P-H-Y-I-N-G.

My Fingers are flying.
Words are spilling out.
Tall, dark, beautiful letters, and all in correct order.

Automaton to Atrophy.

I’m rotting from the inside out.

Image Source: Journalofannobody

24 thoughts on “I don’t like Neighbor.”

  2. Sometimes I don’t read what I’ve sent out. I’m shocked at what I’m reading because it’s not what I’ve typed. Is it my fat fingers pecking at the keyboard? No, I only blame autocorrect….

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  7. I don’t like neighbor either, because he blasts his effin metal music at all the wrong times and sets me off in a bad early morning mood, for starters/
    Yr piece made me smile bigtime/ thanx

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  8. I saw the headline and thought you had managed to get in trouble with your neighbour, but then realized (phew!) you were just orthographically challenged and mixed up your graphemes. Or maybe you were playing with phonologically conditioned alternations?

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  9. I’ve been noticing this trend in myself for about a year now. My spelling sucks. I used to be a spelling God. I’ve wondered is at Alzheimers? I’ve wanted to blame spell check dependence. Last week I had occasion to write “exercise” about 10 different times. I think I missed 80% of the time. There was a paragraph where I misspelled it at the top, checked it, and then misspelled it AGAIN at the bottom. I wanted to spell it “excercise” or “exersize”.
    and in that I see a trend….its ‘S’s” and “C’s” that seem to give me the fits. But it doesnt quite stop there; its double letters too.
    What I really think it may be is that the keyboard has ruined me for spelling. I can type so much faster than I can write (would you believe I just typed “right” instead of “write”), and my spelling brain is slogging along behind my thinking brain.

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  11. I have these sorts of “brain freezes” from time to time, too, DK, but mine are oftentimes on truly humiliating words such as ‘why.’ Bizarre, and quite disturbing for someone for whom words are the coin of the realm….

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