Flat Tire on 47th

~ Live & Learn

manhattan-new york-busy

Late afternoon meeting.  Location: Cross town.

83°F. Mid August. Sticky. Cotton dress shirt is clinging to my chest.

Take a Cab? Rachel suggests it’s 15 minutes point to point on foot. Cab? A crap shoot in cross town traffic.

I hoof it down 47th. Building construction has cut the sidewalk in half. 2 lanes, with a solid lane divider. No passing due to heavy oncoming traffic.

I’m closing the gap with a middle aged man in front of me. His head is down tapping on smartphone. My pace slows to crawl. I cut the gap to a few feet.

I try to pass on his right. Not enough room. I slow and trail behind him.

What’s the rush, right? Breathe a little.

He hasn’t lifted his head. Inconsiderate SOB is still tapping out texts. Oblivious to the growing conga line behind him.

I attempt to pass on left. He leans left. I re-grip the handle on my bag and prepare to side-step him on the right.

As I begin to pass, my shoe catches the back of his shoe, his heal crumbles, he stumbles.

I look back and see that’s he’s upright. Good.

“So Sorry!”

“Sorry? Sorry? You’ve ruined my shoe!”

The Walk Sign flashes and signals Don’t Walk. I stop and he advances. Along with the gathering conga line.

“I said I’m sorry”

“Do you see my shoe?” He’s walking on top of the back of his shoe.

I’m rifling through my options:

  • Option A: Get in his grill. Level of immediate satisfaction: HIGH.  Downside? A potential bad outcome. Side Benefit: Provide ample entertainment to the crowd.
  • Option B: Apologize for the third time. Level of immediate satisfaction: ZERO. Probability: LOW.
  • Option B+: Apologize for the third time + offer a monetary concession. Level of immediate satisfaction: NEGATIVE. Probability: Grrrrrrr.
  • Option C: Walk away. Take the high road. Level of immediate satisfaction: LOW. A low fat, low calorie ice cream bar.

The crowd continues to build. I look down. He’s fussing with the back of his shoe. The light is about to change. He’s still mouthing off, and approaches…

Years ago
when I became tough as a nail
I became a nail

~ Jim Harrison & Ted Kooser, Braided Creek: A Conversation in Poetry

Photograph by Vitaliy Piltser

33 thoughts on “Flat Tire on 47th”

  1. You left us hanging like this?? Let me guess. You’re writing about it already tonight so you probably didn’t take option A. Options B and B+ have zero and negative LOS respectively. What’s left? Option C. (With note to self. Justification.) ??

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  4. Never heard of “get in his grill” before, is that a local phrase?

    How did you managed to make his heal (heel?) “crumble” by catching it with your toe? Maybe “catch” is a euphemism for “smash into with extra high velocity”? Sounds like it needed replacing anyway, you were just the catalyst.

    Did you not consider Option D – stamp on his toe and run?

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    1. STILL LAUGHING. Fact that you don’t know what “getting in his grill means” places you as a child born in the Depression. Get with it.

      “Small with high velocity”

      LAUGHING.

      I guess it was about “that”

      I wanted to say “Man Up”

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  7. Hogging the lane – then a rear end fender fender. To be expected in heavy traffic. Texting-while-walking? Inexcusable. Even the tourists have better sense than that…although they have been known to come to a dead stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take a photo and cause a frustrating pileup…

    I usually do a light brush-by with an apologetic ” ‘scuse me ” which rates a dark look but not much else. I have been threatened once or twice though with speeding and taken my foot off the accelerator for a bit out of guilt.

    I say just loosen the laces, straighten out the dent, and move on with an apology and a handshake…. 🙂

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  10. Denied a denouement? DK, you’re toying with us! I’m gonna go with ‘C’, though, as it involved a metaphorical ice cream, and we know how it is with you and ice cream. It’s your kryptonite….

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    1. denouement |ˌdāno͞oˈmäN| noun
      the final part of a play, movie, or narrative in which the strands of the plot are drawn together and matters are explained or resolved.

      Had to look it up. And plan to use it somewhere sometime and I’ll be sure to give you full credit.

      As to my kryptonite, you certainly nailed that!

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  13. “Do you see my shoe?” He’s walking on top of the back of his shoe. – Well, what would YOU have done if you had to walk on top of the back of your shoe now??? Lol. I’m guessing you RAN across the street when the light changed. 🙂

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