Running. Backwards.

~ Live & Learn

running-gif-illustration-thoughts-mind

We’re all sinking in the same boat here.

Tired.
Tired of thinking about it.
Tired of writing about it.
Tired of reading it.

A business lunch on Thursday.
I drop my head and listen to the conversation.
I close my eyes.
And savor each one.
Chocolate chips melting…coating my tongue.
7, not a typo, 7 chocolate chip cookies in less than 15 minutes.
A sugar addiction.
Deficiency of something.
Deficit of Discipline.
Disgusted.
Disgusting.
Tired of stepping on scale the next morning and expecting a miracle.
Definition of insanity…

Tired of waking up with 4 hours of sleep.
With eyes burning.
Burning and watering at 6am before the sun rises.
And by 2pm, earning a full fledged membership in The Walking Dead.
Short of patience.
Hungry for flesh and blood.

Tired of posting Work-Out Inspiration videos.
And then sitting.
Sitting.
For hours.
Uninspired.
Watching serial episodes of garbage.

Tired of looking at stacks of unread papers.
And Unread books, that I just have to read.
Low hanging, dark, puffy stratus clouds looming…
Incomplete.
Unfinished.
More to do.
Not good enough.

Waiting for You.

Waiting for you to change.

“We’re all sinking in the same boat here. We’re all bored and desperate and waiting for something to happen. Waiting for life to get better. Waiting for things to change. Waiting for that one person to finally notice us. We’re all waiting. But we also need to realize that we all have the power to make those changes for ourselves.”

~ Susane Colasanti, Waiting for You

Quote Source: Journal of a Nobody.  Image Source: kidmograph

Related Posts: Running Series.

45 thoughts on “Running. Backwards.”

  2. These feelings of self-disgust, resignation…grit-coated eyes and a sense of exhaustion before the sun even rises. If anyone doesn’t admit to these moments, s/he is delusional. Doesn’t make them any easier to feel I know. But I won’t diminish these moments by trying to snap you out of it. It will pass, you will insist that it does. That I promise.

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  6. Ooh I’ve been there and the very best cure for me is at least one full day of nothing – nothing at all. No shoulding on myself for one whole day.

    Rest. Breath. Regroup.

    Get up, go again,

    MJ

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      1. Yay!! And I had a big list of “shoulds” on Saturday and know what I did? I crawled back in for a 2 hour nap — heaven! Felt like $10 Million bucks that night 🙂

        MJ

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  9. Uh,uh, far too familiar. Sympathize. Used to eat 5 sugar cookies in lunch meetings, 3 Danish in breakfast meetings after 4-5 h sleep. No good. Will result in a shorter run. RPLG (re-evaluate, prioritize, let go) will do it.

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  11. As many have observed before, pal, you are you own toughest critic. We all find ourselves at low ebb now and again–it’s a fact. Allow yourself a day or two of rest absent recrimination. You *are* good enough, strong enough, and darn it, people like you!’ Cut yourself some slack, go out and soak up some of this glorious sunshine and LET IT GO. As the Buddha so sagely said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

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  12. Before I launch, David, I need to acknowledge the serious tone of this piece, and to agree with the others, cut yourself some slack AND as Mimi said, know that it will pass.

    Right, now to lighten the mood: I have two questions, both impertinent:

    1. What kind of “business lunch” is it where you get to eat chocolate chip cookies? I envisage a little light pasta with a salad, or maybe some lightly steamed fish. Cookies? you are in the wrong lunchtime meeting sir!

    2. Help me to visualise please: do you eat them two at a time, kind of a cookie sandwich?

    Could I also suggest that you are not duty bound to be our source of inspiration, and if you don’t feel inspired to post a workout video, don’t bother. I know you have set yourself a routine, but you are allowed to vary it. Remember, you’re not being paid to be our crutch. Take a break. Go a few days without posting, see if the world keeps on spinning,

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    1. I LOVE your comments. I wait for them to come. Thank you Michael.

      1) It was rigatoni and chicken for the main course. And I had amazing self-control to only take 1 serving from the buffet.

      2) LAUGHING. No sandwich. One at a time. Like a Rabbit.

      3) Yes. I’m hearing you. Yet, I find it therapeutic to post. And especially when I get free therapy from you. 🙂 Hope you are enjoying your weekend.

      And thank you.

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  13. “We’re all sinking in the same boat here.” – I feel what you feel my friend…but we all will keep on keeping on, won’t we? Your own words must many times be just the nourishment your soul needs to do that keeping on…and I know the tide goes out and the tide comes back in. Let yourself just breathe today.

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  14. I would say “ditto” to all the good advice you’re receiving. Give yourself a break. Take Zeke for a walk; it’s a beautiful day. Read for the fun of it (maybe even toss the pile of newspapers) but most of all RELAX……

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  18. I can so identified in so many ways. Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone on this journey of change and setbacks and sweet addictions and great moments and triumphs and celebrations and everything else in between.

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  20. I can relate to that poem David, very honest thoughts – feel like that too sometimes! 😐 We are all in that sinking boat. I feel the way to think is – ‘How can I get off?” Perhaps if we ask it enough, the answer will arrive. I’ve had some breakthroughs in some areas of life in that way, but not all. I guess it takes time – hopefully. I’m not going down with that boat!!! 😉

    That gif is very scary – probably because it’s true!! 😯

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    1. Thanks Suzy. Your comment reminds me of this quote:

      A few times in my life I’ve had moments of absolute clarity. When for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. It’s as though it had all just come into existence. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it’s meant to be.

      — Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man

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      1. Oh yes, I love that quote David, and I know it well! 😀 I’ve read the book and seen the film, and it’s quoted in the film too – wonderful film! And yes I can see what you mean by the similarity – it must have worked it’s way into my subconscious! That’s one of those quotes that I can never tire of, it’s that good. Thank you for reminding David, it’s a good one to think on!

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