I is what I is.

~ Live & Learn

inner voice illustration

I was enjoying my evening after a long day.  Finished dinner.  Moved on to catch up on reading. Hand – Eyes – flicking and scanning.  I lock on a post from Perpetua / The Seeker.  She shares her favorite meditation from an Anthony de Mello retreat: “Did you enjoy your last hour?”   This statement is actually an examination of conscience at the end of the day before I go to sleep.  It is a discernment of moral values and ethics.  Anybody can do it.  Try it.  If you do not believe in God, then leave God behind.  Just think about it, mediate on the question.”  

So, if it’s working for The Seeker, I need to get it going.  I meditate.

Did you enjoy your last hour?  
Did you enjoy your last hour?
Did you enjoy your last hour?
 
Did “I” enjoy my last hour?
I thought I enjoyed my last hour.
Hmmmm. I’m not really certain now.
Would what I did and feel be characterized as enjoyable?
Come to think of it, it wasn’t really enjoyment.  I was just chillin’.
What could have made it more enjoyable?
Was the hour before the last hour enjoyable?
Was it more or less enjoyable than the last hour?
I really don’t think the last 3 hours were all the enjoyable.
In fact, I don’t think I was swimming in enjoyment all day long.
The Seeker says “Anybody can do it.” Apparently not.  
The Seeker says it is a “discernment of moral values and ethics.”
OMG.  Me and Paula Deen. “I is what I is, and I’m not changing.*“
 
What Fresh Hell Is This?
 

Credits:

  • * Paula Deen quote: “I is what I is, and I’m not changing.”  If you missed the Matt Lauer interview today, you might be the only one on the planet – – you can catch it here.
  • Illustration by Danielle Stolle for a New Scientist magazine article titled “Inner Voice“, about inner speech – the way we talk to ourselves in our heads by Charles Fernyhough.  If you are ambitious, his essay/research can be found at this link.
  • Quote – What Fresh Hell is This? by Dorothy Parker.

42 thoughts on “I is what I is.”

  3. We’re not overthinking things again, are we? And YES. Unequivocally YES. I enjoyed my last hour. A cup of coffee and 2 books so as not to run out of reading material – then a quick pass though a bookstore for 2 MORE books – just in case. The aquisition of books is just as enjoyable as the reading …

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    1. Again? Again? Always. Glad that YOU enjoyed your last hour. And I agree that acquisition of books is just as enjoyable as reading. I have a stack of unread ones to show for it. (BTW, unequivocally is one of my favorite words. We must have blood line crosses somewhere back down the line)

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  8. OMG…I did not entirely enjoy my last few hours…but I sure enjoyed: “What Fresh Hell is This?” !! (esp in relation to the PD interview. Oh good lord…I couldn’t get through the whole thing!)

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    1. Laughing. So funny. That interview was so painful. I had to avert my eyes and turn it as well. I’m sure the late night talk shows and Saturday Night Live will have a field day with that interview.

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  10. Whoa…wait a second..you were ‘just chillin’ – if that is what you were doing that sounds pretty ok after a long day. So the idea behind your meditation then is to get yourself as wound up as possible so that you’ve effectively tied yourself up with an unforgiving (and may I add, unyielding) rope. Ok – now I get it…and I relate to it. My all-time stopper from this kind of hell I create? Thinking about how flippin’ lucky I am to be doing any and all of this – I know it’s tiresome and a bit morbid. But it’s the only thing that unties my thoughts..

    As for Paula Deen – I just can’t go there, for I too ‘is what I is’.

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  11. Nah. You’re taking the time to Look. And when you See the possibility of change begins. For me, the point of the meditation isn’t to chastise, but to simply pose the question.

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  14. Lol, both at your story and the very thought of You even trying to meditate. I imagine it akin to self-torture or an episodic epilectic spider. Coincidentally though, I just glanced out my window and saw a pig fly by … anything is possible I suppose.

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