This is an unedited version of The Elephant Story from The Carol Burnett Show. The original air date was November 5, 1977. Tim Conway refuses to let the scene continue until he can finish a story about a circus elephant. Not sure what is funnier, Conway’s jokes or the inability of the cast to keep a straight face…
Thank you SoulProprietor
Yup. This about sums up the week!
Source: Thank you Anake
WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS IT?
GET IT OFF!
GET IT OFF!
GET IT OFF!
For those that don’t get it… Think Shrek (2001). Donkey (voice by Eddie Murphy) to Shrek:
“We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!
And for those of you who missed it, here’s a short clip of the actual scene (classic!): [Read more...]
SMWI* = Saturday Morning Workout Inspiration
Creator: Sarah Anderson, Doodle Time
*SMWI = Saturday Morning Workout Inspiration
Dear Rachel & Eric:
I shared the article below from today’s paper with your Mother. She’s gloating: “I told you so.” I’m snarling: “This is utter nonsense.” Mom’s espousing “Let Freedom Reign.” Dad’s fencing is well established and flashing warning signals: “Cross the line, you’ll do the time.”
You three, huddled in your sheltered cocoon, will see the light.
Hang on to this post and drag it out when your children reach adolescence, and ask the following hypothetical (NOT) questions:
- Rachel, your daughter, three days after acquiring her driver’s license, exits a parking lot without looking in both directions, and piles into an oncoming car – - causing $4,000 damage to your car. Do you blow her a kiss and tell her: “Honey, the best way to deal with this is to get back up on the iron horse.”
- Eric, if your son backs your car into his friend’s rock wall, shredding the rear of the car, do you tell him: “Son, mistakes happen. Please be sure to take more care next time.”
- Rachel, your daughter is laying on the couch watching three consecutive episodes of New Jersey Housewives. You are exhausted from being up early, frazzled from working late and from your commute home – - and you are in the midst of preparing dinner. You ask her to walk the dog three times and she ignores you. Do you walk up politely and say: “Honey, could you please help me out here? Or, are you tired from your difficult day at school?“
- Eric, your son is on his second hour of Playstation and has ignored your 2 prior calls for bedtime. Do you walk up to him, sit down and ask: “Son, could please put down the game, get undressed and go to bed.“
Do these stories sound familiar? Hmmmmm. Right.
Being a parent, your Parents, has been our greatest blessing.
I can’t wait to watch you shine.
P.S. Re: Having children. Absolutely no need to rush into things.
Study Says Yelling Is As Hurtful as Hitting [Read more...]
This just never gets old. This clip has been watch 12,160,830 times on Youtube. I bet I’ve watch it 500 times. And, I’m STILL LAUGHING.
Source: Thank you Perpetua
6:10 am. 70° F. Humidity: 100%. Thick. A mood dampener.
After an unexpected, unexplainable and unacceptable two-pound jump last week, Gadget Man replaced the seven-year old bathroom scale. I don’t need to wait three seconds of interminable flashing to see my test scores. If you aren’t getting results, replace the equipment. Pull the band-aid off and hit me.
The new scale is sweet. I step on the scale and it snaps to attention. No waiting, no flashing, no bad scores. This morning, this incredible technology signalled that I was a mere one pound higher than the challenge target, with another month to go. Now we’re talking.
Yet, what a miserable journey this has been. Rationing ice cream. Mouth salivating for pasta. A 3-cookie daily portion limit. People, this is not living. And the real question is whether this is sustainable.
This morning, I’m determined to drive this weight down. Way down below target to give me cushion. In one run.
My head is saying: 10 miles.
My body: Groaning. [Read more...]
The hotel made us sign a waiver before we stepped on the bus. We had to sign a second waiver at the check-in after we arrived at the Tour Site.
Please read carefully, complete and then sign below.
- Has a doctor advised you not to participate in certain activities?
- Do you have any fears of the following: closed or open spaces; heights; and/or animals?
- Do you have any vision, hearing, or balance problems?
- Have you ever had an attack or stroke?
- Do you frequently suffer from motion sickness?
- Do you have a history of blackouts or fainting?
- Do you have motor skill impairments or difficulties?
I understand there are inherent risks in going on the tour, including but not limited to equipment failure, acts of other participants, adverse weather conditions, and forces of nature, and I hereby assume the risk.
“Dad, I can’t believe you’re doing this!”
“Dad, you didn’t check off #2!”
Silence. I couldn’t look up at her. I looked down at the clipboard. It was shaking in my hands.
“X” marked the spot. My last rites.
Good Wednesday morning. Late start today. Here are my selections of the inspiring posts of the week:
Ivon Prefontaine @ Teacher As Transformer with his post: “Glacier Park Mountains, Glaciers, and Logan’s Pass.” That’s one of his shots above. Be sure to check out the others at this link. Inspiring…as is his blog…a daily stop. (Ivon, this one made me home sick.)
Nancy Roman @ Not Quite Old with her post: “Shouldn’t I have this?….Shouldn’t I have all of this?” “I want to live in a little house with a big porch on the seashore. I want to live in an apartment in New York City with a geranium on the fire escape. I want crisp white sheets and gingham curtains. I want gilded mirrors and french porcelain…I want a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich with a side of potato chips. I want to appear before sold-out crowds who laugh and applaud. I want to go for weeks without seeing another human being. I want to write poetry that makes people cry…” Wonderful post. Read more at this link.
Two youtube videos back to back. Blogger taboo. Yet this. This. I couldn’t resist. Still laughing.
GOOGLY EYES MAKE EVERYTHING ALL BETTER!
cab·in fe·ver: Irritability, listlessness, and similar symptoms results from long confinement or isolation indoors during the winter.
32F yesterday with chilling winds. Spring can show up any time so we can frolic around like Dairy Cows in Holland. I’ve been around cows. I’ve never seen this before. Here’s 30 seconds of happy (very) wrapped in U2′s “It’s a Beautiful Day.”
Some clips need no introduction…
How many laughs is this man responsible for in my life? Too many to count. Here’s two minutes with Archie and Michael.
Fall asleep wondering if this is the solve. (Please.)
Amygdala firing up on ailment. (See.)
Doc said there may be issues later in life because of trauma. (Has it arrived?)
One month of angst. (Eradicated. With three drops.)
One could ask why did you wait so long. (Or, one could avoid asking.)
And one wouldn’t have a good answer.
* Disclosure: Turn your eyelids inside out? Heresy. Wear contacts? Nothing touches my eyes. LASIK surgery to correct nearsightedness? Don’t come near me with your surgery solution. Apply your own eyedrops? Can’t do it. Keep eye open so drops can be applied for you? Impossible. Squeal like a baby when drop splashes on eye? Absolutely.
Image Source: LetsBeConnor
“What we don’t know chains us, leaves us sitting in the valley with a stupid smile. We discover our ignorance as we go. After a lifetime, if we’ve been attentive, we should fall to our knees before the vastness, the ungraspable minutiae of our world. We should suspect that it constitutes our God. And we so-called experts of this or that, could we have done more than play our one chord? Wisdom is to know, at best, that we make only a little good noise, a few small dents. It’s why the wise laugh a lot, why the laughter of metaphysicians echoes in the spaces they probe. We walk out of our houses into the enormity of our task. What kind of ant is that? Who named the phlox? Is that a path or a rut?”
~ Stephen Dunn, Ignorance - Riffs & Reciprocities
Stephen Dunn (born 1939) is an American poet. He won the Pulitzer Prize for his 2001 collection, Different Hours. He was born in Forest Hills, Queens in New York. Dunn completed his B.A. in English at Hofstra University and his M.A. in creative writing at Syracuse. He has taught at Wichita State, University of Washington, Columbia University, University of Michigan and Princeton University. Dunn lives in Ocean City New Jersey.
Don’t miss the birds on the branch at end of gif. Come on. Admit it. You smiled.
- Q: Are you going to exercise today?
- A: Nope. My tummy is a wee bit swollen and hurts. Prodigious over indulgence in chocolate and an assortment of baked goods. I’m going to sit right here and enjoy the day.
- Q: Are you going to Return/exchange gifts today?
- A: In that madness?*!* Absolutely not, I’m going to sit right here and enjoy the day.
- Q: You seem at Peace today. Are you practicing your sutras and deep breathing?
- A: Ahhh. So you noticed. Yes.
- Q: So, what’s the plan for today?
- A: After I’m through here, I’m going for a swim and then back inside to watch movies.
- Q: All day?
- A: All Day!
- Q: Enjoy!
My children shared this clip with me 2 years ago. I didn’t like it and thought it was ridiculous. I later changed my assessment and found myself repeating the lines and whistling the jingle. I’ve since (without exaggeration) watched this clip 50+ times. Welcome to an introduction to my sweet spot for laughs. Enjoy biting goats…