Running. With Newtown.

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Off to a late start today.  Could not fire the engines.  Or the head.  Temperature: Brisk 35F. Not a trace of wind.  And gloriously sunny.  Sunny but dark.

I skip the hat.  Skip the gloves. Skip the extra sweatshirt.  I needed cold.  Needed to feel alive. Needed a new path.  A fresh 5-mile route.  Away from the familiar.

9:45 am: I’m heading North. (It’s quiet out. Eerily quiet. I don’t hear birds. Traffic seems to be moving slower.  Everyone mourning? Newtown is North.  Sandy Hook Elementary School is 39 miles due North. TV images flicker by: Mother holding phone, screaming.  Children being marched out of the building. “Close your eyes.  Hold your hands.“)

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Running. And Chafing.

weight loss, diet, exercise, health, eat, craving, running, run, walk, walking, chart

It all started at around 8pm last night.  Susan asked: “Do you really need that?“…this in response to my complaining earlier in the day about hitting new record highs for weight gain. And after my 4th trip to the fridge since dinner time.  The “that” was a peanut butter (Jiffy Creamy) and blueberry jelly sandwich.  Yes, I needed it. Badly.  And I didn’t need someone, anyone, scolding me. (Am I a child?) I continued lapping the peanut butter on the bread – jabbing the knife into the jar – spreading on a few extra layers.  I don’t lift my head.  She continues on from the other side of the room.  “You know, you should read this book on life style changes in what you eat.  You can lose weight by just eating healthier.  You are not getting enough proteins.  This is causing you to crave potato chips, sugars and salty foods.”  Blueberry jam dribbles out of the corner of my mouth.  I look up.  Fat man’s blood pressure building…readying himself for counterpunching.  I glance up and glare.  She continues: “You know that I’m just trying to help.”  I take the last remaining bite and jam dribbles down my shirt…well doesn’t that about capture it.  Enough!  My turn…trade a boulder for a pebble.  “I don’t need to read a bloody book to tell me that I eat junk and too much of it.  And I certainly don’t need you haranguing me about it.”  Now, if I had just stopped there.  Trade the ocean for a drop of water.  “So tell me.  If this book is so good.  How’s it working out for you?”  Nearing 30 years of marriage you know exactly where the nerve endings are and where to jab.  Yep, direct hit.  Then regret washes over me.  But not enough to apologize.  She knows I didn’t really mean it.  Right. [Read more...]

Still Standing.

The Cove, Stamford, CT

The stone walkway may be 2.5 feet at its narrowest point.  The shore line is 7-8 feet down from the walkway.  It’s narrow, it is a ways down and I’m always wary.  I must have been daydreaming.  Or better stated, distracted by day-work-worrying.

I’m on my morning run.

My right forearm slams into the end of the steel I-beam guard rail.  Here it comes. A car crash in slow motion.  A Bruce Lee flick.  With much less grace.  The I-beam doesn’t move.  But it moves me.  It spins me around.  Full Stop. Drop.  Roll.  Air explodes out of my chest.  I’m gasping for air.  More stunned than hurt.  I’m down flat on my back for a few seconds, grateful that I didn’t plunge into the mud and frigid waters in the bay.  I look around to see if anyone caught the show.  No one is yelling “Man Down.  Man Down.”  We’re clear.  Pride intact. [Read more...]

Running. With Nature.

6:15 am. I finish up my blog posts.  Finish bantering with Mimi.  I pan through the Weather app on my iPhone for a temperature report on my set locations: Miami 61 F/78 F.  Sunny.  Sydney 67/81.  San Diego 54/65.  Home: 29 F/41 F.  (Brrrrrrr.  I shiver.  Do I really want to do this?  Maybe I should wait until later this afternoon when temps climb.  Come on.  Who are you kidding?  If it doesn’t happen RIGHT NOW, it’s not going to happen pal…you know that.)

6:20 am: I put on sweatpants, sweatshirt and grab baseball cap.  (Mind is chattering… should I drape myself in layers…thermal underwear and thermal undershirt…and Tuke/Beanie.  Are you kidding?  A mere 29°.  A Canadian, last time I checked. Man-up.)

6:24 am: Grab headphones, iPhone and Garmin GPS watch. (Notice that I have 1 bar of power left on Garmin and 2 bars on iPhone.  Irritated. Irritating.  Hundreds of dollars of e-equipment and they can’t hold a charge for more than a few hours.  Yep, good one - Gadget Man is blaming battery life.  Be grateful.  Thanksgiving.  Day of Sabbath.  And I’m sniping.) [Read more...]

Running. With Guilt.

guilty, guilt, remorse, black and white, illustration4:05 am. And STILL, no cable, no phones, no internet.(Morning routine disrupted. Motivation waning. Out of bed. But out of sync. Ranging somewhere between live fish in boat flopping around the deck to full Train derailment.)  

4:07 am.  Begin surfing internet on iPad.  (Wondered what I used to do at 4am in the “old days.”  B.I.  Before internet.  I don’t even remember.  Ah, yes.  I used to read.  Like books.  Real Reading has plummeted. Guilt washes over me.) 

4:15 am.  Still reading and surfing.  Mostly surfing.  (Mind shifts to AT&T 3g – confident that their gouge meter is running.  I’m watching cute cat and dog videos while AT&T is performing alchemy – turning my minutes into cash.)

4:22 am.  I hit publish on my work-out inspiration post.   I look out the window.  Black as coal.  Touch window.  Feels cold on finger tips.  (Shut-er-down. Enough alchemy feed stock for AT&T.  Mind shifts to Running in the cold and in the dark.  Hmmmmm.  I grab my Grandma’s hand-knitted quilt and fall heavily into the couch.  Now, there’s inspiration for you.)

7:00 am.  Conscience wakes me.  I need to exercise NOW or this will never happen. (Mr. Work-Out Inspiration Man needs inspiration.)

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