Forbes: How Successful People Stay Calm:
TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. If you’ve followed my work, you’ve read some startling research summaries that explore the havoc stress can wreak on one’s physical and mental health. The tricky thing about stress (and the anxiety that comes with it) is that it’s an absolutely necessary emotion. Our brains are wired such that it’s difficult to take action until we feel at least some level of this emotional state. In fact, performance peaks under the heightened activation that comes with moderate levels of stress. As long as the stress isn’t prolonged, it’s harmless.
While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that successful people employ when faced with stress, what follows are ten of the best. Some of these strategies may seem obvious, but the real challenge lies in recognizing when you need to use them and having the wherewithal to actually do so in spite of your stress.
- They appreciate what they have
- They avoid asking “what if”
- They stay positive
- They disconnect
- They limit their caffeine intake
- They sleep
- They squash negative self-talk
- They re-frame their perspective
- They breathe
- They use their support-system
Read full article @ Forbes: How Successful People Stay Calm
Thank you Tarique
I might add the following to the y-axis criteria:
+ Tolerance level/distance in commuting to a New Year’s Eve party (and finding a ride back)
+ Interest in shelling out piles of cash for the inflated cost of cover charge, dinner and cocktails
+ Excitement of socializing with 1,000s of your closest friends and talking about it the next day
+ Ability to stay up to/beyond midnight (which is beyond your 10pm shot clock)
+ Recovery period for digesting vast amounts of food and alcohol
+ Enjoyment of watching the ball drop in Times Square live (vs. from your couch on TV)
How Not to Say The Wrong Thing by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman
It works in all kinds of crises – medical, legal, even existential. It’s the ‘Ring Theory’ of kvetching. The first rule is comfort in, dump out.
…Here are the rules. The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere. She can kvetch and complain and whine and moan and curse the heavens and say, “Life is unfair” and “Why me?” That’s the one payoff for being in the center ring.
Everyone else can say those things too, but only to people in larger rings.
When you are talking to a person in a ring smaller than yours, someone closer to the center of the crisis, the goal is to help. Listening is often more helpful than talking. But if you’re going to open your mouth, ask yourself if what you are about to say is likely to provide comfort and support. If it isn’t, don’t say it. Don’t, for example, give advice. People who are suffering from trauma don’t need advice. They need comfort and support. So say, “I’m sorry” or “This must really be hard for you” or “Can I bring you a pot roast?” Don’t say, “You should hear what happened to me” or “Here’s what I would do if I were you.” And don’t say, “This is really bringing me down.”
SMWI* = Saturday morning workout inspiration. Source: themetapicture.com
Myth: I should wash my face in the morning.
Truth: Unless you have a skin condition, such as acne, you only need to wash your face once a day, in the evening. Nighttime cleansing removes, make-up, pollutants and other dirt that has collected on the skin. Washing twice a day can cause dryness, a particular concern as women and men age.
Hmmm. This is habitual. No. A Ritual. (Washing face many times.) And, how many times have I scolded our kids on the topic? Too many to count.
Source: wsj.com - The Real Dirt on Face Washing - experts say don’t overscrub, overcleanse
“One of the most boggling experiences I have is standing on a beach staring at the ocean. It’s just a silly amount of water. And then there’s all this water underground, and more in the atmosphere, and there are lakes and rivers and streams and marshes and swamps and snow and glaciers and ponds and puddles. So I’ve been thinking about all this water and how I don’t really have a handle on how much of it there really is. It’s clear what needs to happen— I need to cube it. I need to put all the world’s water in cubes so I can look at it all at once and grasp how much there really is…so if you took all of that water and put it into a huge cube, how big would the cube be if you place it on top of the U.S.? A cube with a side of 693 miles, whose base stretches from Indianapolis to Denver.”
97% of the Earth’s water is sitting in Oceans. A mere 3% of all water is fresh water…0.3% of the 3% of all fresh water is surface water (e.g., lakes, rivers)
And, if you were going to put all of the Earth’s drinkable water in a cube, how big would it be? [Read more...]
“Pause“…for what? Keep it comin’.
“Do not like“…what? Can’t think of anything.
Where’s the sign for “Ready for Third Plate“?
Where’s the sign for “Ready for Dessert“?
What about the sign “Don’t look too closely. I had to loosen my belt to make room.“
“…in restaurants they like non-verbal clues. A sign language of sorts. The waiter or waitress reads the secret code spelled out through your dirty utensils and napkin. If the waiter doesn’t happen to see you licking your plate (which is the International sign of “Yup … thems was good eatin’. I’m done!“) how’s he supposed to know if you’re finished eating? He knows by where you’ve placed your cutlery. Honestly, he does…(other rules to note):
- Your napkin should be half heartedly folded to the left of your plate.
- Do NOT rest the cutlery on the table.
- Do NOT cross the cutlery over each other in an X.
- Do NOT put your napkin on your plate.
- Do NOT perfectly refold your napkin.
- Do NOT put your napkin on your chair.
- Do NOT fold your napkin into the shape of a swan or a dead chicken and then leave the restaurant wearing it as a hat.”
- Image Source: themetapicture.com.
- Quote Source: Etiquette. Where to Place Your Cutlery When You’re Done Eating
- 34% of adults in the U.S. say they take a nap on a typical day.
- A person who dreams during a short nap is likely sleep deprived.
- As we age there is a tendency to take and be satisfied with shorter naps.
- Ideal nap time: 1pm – 4pm. Napping later in the day can interfere with falling asleep at night.
- A 10-20 minute nap packs the most punch. You can feel groggy after 20-30 minute naps. A 60 minute nap may do more harm than good.
- To avoid a deep sleep, it’s best to sleep slightly upright
Read more @ wsj.com: The Perfect Nap: Sleeping is a Mix of Art and Science
Two questions: Which one of the four below are you? (Assuming you are one of the four.) Which one is optimal?
- “A” > “B” = No “C”
- “A” < “B” = No “C”
- “A” + “B” = Some “C”
- “P” = “J” = No “C”
Where ‘A’= Time Spent On What You Love to Do.
Where ‘B’= Time Spent on Your Job.
Where ‘C’= Amount of Your Free Time.
Where ‘P’= What You Love To Do.
Where ‘J’ = Your Job.
Chart Source: Great Work Done From 5 to 9 @ Indexed by Jessica Hagy
“The thing about ‘impostors’ is they have unsustainably high standards for everything they do. The thinking here is, If I don’t know everything, then I know nothing. If it’s not absolutely perfect, it’s woefully deficient. If I’m not operating at the top of my game 24/7, then I’m incompetent.”
Read more about the Impostor Syndrome (and those afflicted by it including Maya Angelou, Meryl Streep and Tina Fey) in this post titled: Crushing the Impostor Syndrome @ CycloneLife.net.
How much caffeine is actually in your coffee?
#2: Writing Effectively. My 10th Grade English teacher underscored this for me YEARS ago. And I see too much today that hurts the eyes.
The Patriarch of this household is less common (aka “special/rare”). The rest of the brood would be defined as common based on their birthdate. About right. See The Daily Viz for background on study and sample set. The chart has had more than 250,000 views. If you want to read more about this study, hit this link. Still wouldn’t change the end result. :)
Related Posts: Yup. I’m Greek.
Simple illustration. Various applications.
Source: Carl Richards
Let’s just say that I don’t see all these colors. I see Red, Dark Blue and plenty of Green.
Back on December 26th, I asked for your feedback on my blog title in a post titled: “The Voting Polls Are Open.” I also asked you to vote on a number of choices. The results are in. Before sharing the final tally, I thought I would share several verbatims that I found interesting:
- Since when did start taking polls to make a decision Mr. Gallup? :-)
- I curious. When did you start taking direction from anyone? (There’s a theme running here.)
- “Laugh” seems to be missing. “Live.Learn.Laugh.” (This came up several times in comments.)
- I think “Big Ideas from a Big Head” or “Lead.Learn.Live.Loser.” is best. (Thank you children for your continued support.)
- Perhaps a title like, “Thrive,” as it is energetic, positive, and gives a sense of moving forward. Makes me think of the word “alive.”
- The tag line words should have a more logical sequencing. “Live.Learn.Lead.” makes more sense in the flow of life’s lessons. (Jay and Joe C, I’ve been dwelling on this for months.) [Read more...]
- The behavioral economist Andrew Oswald found that from about the time we are teenagers, our sense of happiness starts to decline, hitting rock bottom in our mid-40s (middle-age crisis, anyone?). Then our sense of happiness miraculously starts to go up again rapidly as we grow older.
- All in all, Oswald tested a half million people in 72 countries, in both developing and developed nations.
- And it’s not only we humans who slump in the middle and feel sunnier toward the end. Just recently, Oswald and colleagues demonstrated that even chimpanzees and orangutans appear to experience a similar pattern of midlife malaise.
- Women hit happiness-bottom at 38.6 years on average, whereas men do more than a decade later, at nearly 53.
Source: Brainpickings.org – Life Cycle Of Happiness
My initial reaction to Wendy MacNaughton’s illustration was “Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!” I let it marinate and then returned to it. My reaction shifted to “please, please, please let it be wrong.”
Wendy MacNaughton. I’m a big fan. She’s an illustrator and graphic journalist with a long list of brand name clients including the NY Times, Wall Street Journal, Time Magazine, NPR and a slew of others. Some of my other favorite illustrations include:
It all started at around 8pm last night. Susan asked: “Do you really need that?“…this in response to my complaining earlier in the day about hitting new record highs for weight gain. And after my 4th trip to the fridge since dinner time. The “that” was a peanut butter (Jiffy Creamy) and blueberry jelly sandwich. Yes, I needed it. Badly. And I didn’t need someone, anyone, scolding me. (Am I a child?) I continued lapping the peanut butter on the bread – jabbing the knife into the jar – spreading on a few extra layers. I don’t lift my head. She continues on from the other side of the room. “You know, you should read this book on life style changes in what you eat. You can lose weight by just eating healthier. You are not getting enough proteins. This is causing you to crave potato chips, sugars and salty foods.” Blueberry jam dribbles out of the corner of my mouth. I look up. Fat man’s blood pressure building…readying himself for counterpunching. I glance up and glare. She continues: “You know that I’m just trying to help.” I take the last remaining bite and jam dribbles down my shirt…well doesn’t that about capture it. Enough! My turn…trade a boulder for a pebble. “I don’t need to read a bloody book to tell me that I eat junk and too much of it. And I certainly don’t need you haranguing me about it.” Now, if I had just stopped there. Trade the ocean for a drop of water. “So tell me. If this book is so good. How’s it working out for you?” Nearing 30 years of marriage you know exactly where the nerve endings are and where to jab. Yep, direct hit. Then regret washes over me. But not enough to apologize. She knows I didn’t really mean it. Right. [Read more...]
Where am I on the Pain Management Chart today? ZERO!
“Forget what you’ve heard about first impressions; it’s the last impressions that count. Last impressions — whether they’re with customer service, an online shopping experience, or a blind date — are the ones we remember. They’re the ones that keep us coming back. But there’s one kind of final impression that people seem to forget. The closing line of email — that line that you write before you type your name — has been all but forgotten. Go take a look at your inbox: you might be astonished at how little attention people pay to the closing lines when writing email. This underrated rhetorical device is so frequently disregarded that many people have the gall to use an automatic closing line attached to their email signature file…If a closing line can be so meaningful, so important, why are emailers squandering the opportunity, putting no thought in the closing? Time, perhaps, iPhone-finger exhaustion, multi-tasking – they’re all possible excuses. And many times, acceptable ones. We can’t be expected to neatly tie up every email every time. But once in a while, it would be delightful if people applied the same sincerity to the last impressions that we do to first ones.”
As mass producer of emails, this email & chart left its mark…
I was returning home from Chicago today. Ominous skies were threatening our return. Weather reports from home are gloomy – thunderstorms and heavy rains are pounding the NYC region. The flight is full. The mood among the passengers is surly…no one is up for an extended delay, or worse, a cancelation heading into the weekend. Yet, the flight is off, and on time and largely uneventful. We circle for 15 minutes over NYC as air traffic is backed up. We land. A few minutes late but the relief in the cabin is palpable.
We’re on the tarmac. An elderly lady three rows back is on her cell phone calling a family member. In a voice that is heard 8-10 rows in each direction, she let them know “THAT I’LL BE A BIT LATE AND THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.” She carries on her phone conversation on her stay in Chicago and her plans for the weekend. Then, there’s a moment of silence. And, she’s back on the phone. This time with her car service. Her piercing voice is echoing up and down the tube. “GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER! I’LL NEED TO CALL YOU FROM BAGGAGE CLAIM. NO I NEED YOUR NUMBER. 212-656-. WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN? 212-65X? SPEAK LOUDER.” This goes back and forth several times until she manages to get the number. Then, there’s another moment of silence and she’s back on the phone with another family member. “I SHOULDN’T BE TOO LATE.” The conversation continues for several minutes at a raised decibel level. There’s another moment of silence and she’s back on the phone again. [Read more...]
These statistics are shocking. And here I thought I was in a minority class…
“A growing number of Americans don’t get enough sleep, thanks to higher stress and other factors”
“Some 20% of automobile accidents come as the result of drowsy drivers”
“U.S. military researchers, meanwhile, have concluded that sleeplessness is one of the leading causes of friendly fire.”
“Technology was making the world smaller by the day; the global economy blurred the lines between one day and the next, and things like time and place were supposed to be growing ever less important in the always-on workplace”
“74%: People who drink a caffeinated beverage on an average weekday”
“13%: People who drink more than six caffeinated beverages on an average weekday”
“Researchers are increasingly finding that lack of sleep is terrible for our health. Sleeplessness has been linked to increased rates of heart disease, obesity, stroke and even certain cancers. The exact reasons for these effects are still largely unknown, but give support to the theory that sleep is the time when our bodies naturally repair themselves on a cellular level.”
If you are a Mr. Bean fan and you tuned in for the opening ceremony at the London Olympics, you will be nodding your head in agreement with the chart. Mr. Bean stole the show playing Chariots of Fire. If you missed the show, you can catch it on this NBC Olympic video clip.
Chart Source: ilovecharts
Related Posts: The ultimate repeated-note technic @ LaDona’s Music Studio